"Purchase Bewilderment"

In this age of extreme self-awareness and conscientious living – when people are striving to be intentional about their decisions and actions, there is a curious lack of a pulse, a disconcerting absence of a sense of wonder that leads me to ponder the words of the poet Rumi, “sell your cleverness and purchase bewilderment.” Sage advice if you ask me, but one hardly likely to be taken seriously in this so-called era of enlightenment.

As a people we have taught ourselves to see yet not feel, to look yet not discern. It’s been all head and very little heart. Who knows, maybe that’s a strategy that serves its purpose well. I believe it insulates us. The busy-ness, the sleeplessness, the rush to achieve has caused us not to be awed by the beauty all around and to not take hold of the sense of wonder that is so available to us.

But were we to sell our cleverness and purchase bewilderment, how awed we would be by our babies’ first steps, the innocence of childhood, the eloquence in silence, the miraculous mundane,  the potent words of a song that speak hope to our souls. How awed might we be by the light of someone else’s wisdom; how connected we could feel to humanity. We have chosen instead a cloak of cleverness and enlightenment, unwilling to be exposed to the vulnerability of ignorance or dependence. We have become adept at building walls of control and power. “I’ve got this” is the natural consequence of our ‘can do’ attitude.

But beauty and awe, wonder and bewilderment are all around us. It is the joy of family chatter around the dinner table; it’s the feel of your own heart, with hand pressed firmly against your chest. It is the tear that you allow yourself to shed as you learn to let life in; it’s the doting of your little girl. It’s insight. It’s emotional intelligence.

So much has been lost on us because of our lack of this sense of wonder. To our own detriment, we have called everything common. From this point on, why not let’s get deliberate about purchasing bewilderment? Let’s practice to feel even as we see. As we acquire knowledge, let’s seek understanding too.  Let’s apply a keen sense of discernment, let’s 'take a trip inside our minds to find wonders we can't define,' let's pursue, at risk of losing the facade of our emotional security, life's all important “ah-ha moments”. It'll be well worth it.