Being Happily Discontented

 

"Live your life each day

 as you would climb a mountain.

An occasional glance towards the summit

 keeps the goal in mind,

But many beautiful scenes are to be observed

 from each new vantage point."

                                [Harold B. Melchart]

 

 

Sometimes we allow ourselves to become so weighed down with the things that 'are not' that we very often lose sight of the things that 'are.' We conjure up images of wellness or happiness and refuse to allow that any other interpretation, anything other than our 'perfect' picture is acceptable. We know exactly the paths our lives should take, and what our final destination should look like. And what do these notions translate to in everyday life? Us being thrown into a tizzy when our children exhibit less than the standards of behaviour we expect of them; getting angry because our husbands don't ever do the dishes and forget while forgetting he's numbered among the ones that faithfully provide for his household; our complaining about his bulging stomach and neglecting to be thankful for his faithful heart.

 

Oh how easy it is to lose sight of that which is right and good and perfect in our lives because we are in pursuit of some goal that our egos created. Of course, it's important to set and achieve goals. I live by them. But how far more important it is for us to learn to stop along the path and celebrate what is...not allowing ourselves to become so enamored by what is possible that we neglect to see, to enjoy, to simply savor the blessings of the things that are......now, this moment, today. The truth is, our desire for a 'better state' can become so all-consuming that it blinds us to the current good. It creates in us a constant feeling of lack, of incompleteness, of inadequacy... 

 

How I wish I could properly articulate, underscore or explain the dangers of espousing feelings of lack. Yes, I know it seems a crazy proposition in light of all the things you dream of, and worse…all the things you need. To be sure, I’m not suggesting that we hide from our realities. A keen awareness of those realities will be instrumental in helping us get to the place we want to be. Still, we must get to the place where we understand the absolute necessity of learning to be happy in our discontentment….of knowing that we ARE enough, that what we HAVE is enough…right now, right in this moment…learning to be complete here, while we work on getting there.

 

And that learning to feel complete, to be happily discontented is about knowing and appreciating the realities of abundance and Providence; about embracing gratitude and beauty, and letting go of the way we think it should be. It comes down to not allowing our longing for something better to crowd out today’s beauty…to be able to relish the perfection of this moment….to enjoy the pitter, patter of raindrops, the crystal glory of rain-drops on a petal, the pitter-patter of little feet in our homes, the frolic of our children’s play….the magic of a kiss…..There is beauty in every circumstance. There are lessons in every experience. On your climb to the summit, when your steps seem to go off course, stay a while and whisper….’all is as it should it’….be grateful for what is…..

 

To What End?

I've found that the better I am able to answer the 'to what end' questions in my life, the more effective I am. But I've also found that I do not always remember to subject all my actions to this very crucial question, and I therefore find that way too many of the things I spend valuable time on do not contribute to the legacy I want to leave on this earth.

And so today as I spent some time reflecting on the way I use my time, I realized I need to better align my time with the vision I have for my life, my destiny and ultimately my legacy. Not surprisingly, my thoughts led me quietly back to this big question I like to ask my staff, my children and my friends: "to what end"? Am I doing stuff just for the sake of doing them? To mark check boxes off? To provide a report of 'busy' work?  Obviously the question that best provides an answer (yes, questions can provide answers 😊) to all of this is , 'to what end?'

The architect whose vision is to design and build a cathedral is way more likely to achieve that goal than his companion who simply draws one blue print after another with no ultimate end in mind. The blogger whose vision it is to write a book will more likely reach that goal than the one who blogs with no end in mind. I know that, yet I do not always live like I do.

No wonder therefore that as I watched my time dwindle away today I kept hearing the words of Benjamin Franklin ringing in my head, "Dost thou love life, then do not squander time, for that's the stuff life is made of."  No-brainer, right? But we aren't talking outright wasting time now are we? No, we are talking about spending valuable time doing work, busy work to which we are unable to connect a long term goal our vision, desires destiny and legacy.

So how did I course-correct today? I got me a pen and paper and reminded myself what I want my legacy to be. I reflected on the way I spent my day and questioned whether my activities were in any small way aligned to the legacy I plan to leave behind. Yeah, admittedly, sometimes we need to give ourselves a break.... but not for too long. When all is said and done I want my life here on earth to have counted . And so I reach for my filter 'to what end' and if the answer isn't leading in the direction of my legacy, I let go. And so today I invite you to hold your actions up to scrutiny and consider the very important life question, 'to what end'? What you do after you answer that question is entirely up to you.

You are not an Imposter!

In an earlier post I wrote how paralyzed I am by the imposter syndrome. Well, not in so many words...but I did express how frustrated I am with always feeling like I don't belong at the table. That's the imposter syndrome for you. It has you expecting to be exposed 'any day now' for the imposter you are., expecting that people will soon find out that you're a hoax; that you are not as capable and competent as you have pretended that you are.

So when you find yourself in the boardroom, after pinching yourselves a thousand times, and behaving like the cat's got your tongue, it takes you a few sittings to a make meaningful contribution because all this time you've been listening to the voice in your head telling you you are an imposter.

Dont listen to it. You know you've worked hard to be where you are. You've come to see that the people in the corner office are no smarter than you are; You've come to recognize that you add value to the room. In your own unique way. You're of no less value or worth than those who have occupied those chairs for what seems like forever.

You are no imposter. You are more than qualified to be where you are. No need to 'bluff- your way ahead. Take up space. Occupy! You belong!

Just express, Don't try to impress!

The change in my approach to writing is indicative of the change in my approach to life in general. I remember when it took me hours, days even, to write something I felt was worthy of public consumption. I would write and erase, and write again and erase again. It never felt good enough. I oftentimes felt the quality of my writing left me exposed to the vagaries of criticism, the type I wasnt sure I was prepared to handle. Cknsequently, so much was left unwritten...effectively unsaid.

Today, I find I write an article or blogpost in minutes. I express myself with very little care as to whether it will impact someone in ways that tell a story of my ability to write or not. I simply express myself. With no intent to impress. It's far less pressure and far more effective.

This is my third blog post in under three hours. None of them is perfect. I'm sure there are typos and punctuation issues, maybe even grammatical errors. I've found that people dont care much. I've found I'm learning to care less. I'm not aiming at perfection. Right now I'm not even sure I'm aiming at excellence. My intention is to use every medium at my disposal (this included) to have my say; to put my voice in the room...in ways that are simple and relatable. That's it.

So, once again as I use this opportunity prove to myself that I CAN, I am grateful for this urge that tells me there is more to be done with this talent. I'm happy for this strong desire to bring it to reality. I'm happy that I'm not allowing my tendency towards perfectionism to hold me back. I'm grateful for the willingness to embrace vulnerability
 Man, how I have grown! Peace...

Reinvesting 'Much.'

"From everyone to whom much is given, much will be demanded." What does that'much' look like for you? Money, talents, resources, networks, opportunities? I'm sure the first thought of many people upon reading this question is, 'I don't have much.' I guess that's based o  how you define it. Truth is, whether thay 'much' looks like 10%, 30% or 100%, we all have an obligation not simply to take care of it, but to multiply it.


The obligation to increase what we are given is a burden that some of us carry around with us everyday. Happily it is a  burden we gladly bear. Money, talents, opportunities, resources, compassion, love and concern must all be increased with the objective of re-investment in the lives of others. It is a noble calling.


The interesting thing about the 'much' we are given is that it requires reinvestment for guaranteed returns. Interest will never grow on money that is hidden away at home. In the same way, that which we have at our disposal is guaranteed to grow only as we invest in the lives of others. Every talent, every resource, every opportunity we take advantage of, yields the best fruit as it used to create increase in others.

So what's in your hand? The truth is that every miracle of change starts with that little that we have at our disposal. No. I did not say that MUCH that we have at our disposal. Few if us have much to start with. But all of us have enough to invest into making 'much.'With an everyday investment if time little easily becomes much. Much re-invested into someone else's life has the potential to create exponential change.

What does it mean to BE AUTHENTIC anyway?

There has been a lot of talk in recent years about authenticity, standing in integrity and being who you truly are. The thought is indeed exciting and sits well with almost all of us....after all, who doesn't want to be in touch with their souls, to be true at their core, to dance to their own song? I dare so we all do....even those who are not courageous enough to actually do it. The urge is still present, the yearning is still real.

Yet, with all this, there are still those who struggle to find, to know, to understand who this 'true me' is. What does it mean to be your authentic self? When you are constantly faced with your flaws and imperfections, when you desire, aspire to change; when you long to be something (not necessarily someone) different....in that context... what does being authentic mean?
Is your authentic self the negative, toxic person that you are, or is it the friendly encouraging person you aspire, long to be?

When you aspire to take your thoughts and dreams, your life vision to the next level but you feel the constant pull and urgings of your former existence, which of these is real? What is an authentic response? Keeping in mind that your former place of existence - the way of being you want to leave behind - may not necessarily be a bad thing, how do you know that this is not who you truly are/were meant to be? When you stand in that bridge who exactly is the real you?

The question that weighs heavily on my mind sometimes is 'what defines something or someone as inauthentic? How does one know that he/she is standing in integrity? What are the signs and triggers? Are there any signs and triggers? One might say....

Lies, obviously
How about an unwillingness to be vulnerable?
Not being responsive to gut feelings?
Denying your personal ambitions?
Holding on to beliefs and dogma fed to you by others without having done your own assessment?
How about holding on to other people's 'truths'?
Feeling obligated to live up to the expectations of others?
A strong desire to deliver 'perfect' results all the time?
Not perceiving failure as the gift it is?
Having a strong need to impress others at the expense of your own happiness?

Is there even a universal definition of authenticity? And, if not, is it therefore not subject to individual definitions of truth?  We hear people say 'live your truth,' the implication being that being that for each of us to be authentic all of us must allow for the diversities which will show up amongst us.

I don't know where you are today in your search/struggle for authenticity. I know for sure, though, that it is a indeed a huge struggle to get from one place to the next, and to keep trying to show up as your true self. I know as well that it is worth every bit if the struggle. You may not like the person you see in the process of transition but I can almost guarantee that you will fall in  love with the girl/guy you meet on the other side.....and you'll know for sure when you get there... for it is that moment when you feel at peace at your very core!

I find there is much to be grateful for.....

Another birthday rolls around and I find that there is much to be grateful for. I know I have been divinely favoured especially in these very recent years. Sometimes I feel hand-picked "for such a time as this" and in these quiet moments of reflection that a birthday normally affords, I cannot help but feel overwhelmed with the awesome mantle I am called to bear. I am grateful everyday that our Creator sees in me that which I was unable to see for so long. I am eternally grateful for the grace He has afforded me over the years.

Birthdays  often bring us to a place of quiet reflection. We are forced to contend with thoughts of what we have achieved over the years...whether our accomplishments match our goals we set ourselves over the years....what if we had done that thing our heart longed/longs for....where might we have been had we been brave enough to take the risks that could have been life-changing. Yeah, birthdays have a way of doing that to you....if you are not careful where your thoughts take you.

But today as I contemplate the great 'what ifs' and 'whethers' of my own life, I am forced to shelf any lingering thoughts of underachievement and inadequacy. I am instead faced with an overwhelming sense of gratitude. Yes......look how far I have come. Look what God has done....Look at what I have left behind....and I am reveling in the freedom that I am afforded to simply be....and become. I know that every tomorrow is divinely ordained. I know that every tomorrow will count for something...something bigger than me....I know the purpose to which I am called, I see the Plan into which I fit...I see my role and I gladly put on the mantle....I will create the change to which I am called.

So today...now....right in this moment of this 'next level' birthday. I pause....and I give thanks. For the blessings of this moment....for the hope of tomorrow....for the friends who have been with me on this journey...for the lives I have been able to impact so far and for those I will influence who I have not yet met. I am grateful for every lesson learnt on the journey so far and I look forward to the many lessons of the future. I listen to the age-old wisdom of men but I defer to the Wisdom of the Divine. I eagerly anticipate each new day, knowing that God is doing a new thing in me. I claim it even as I move into a new era of accomplishments with faith and humility.

Happy birthday to me. I immerse myself even now in an anticipation of the future. Forever in His debt.

I wanna just BE....if only for a moment

(Steven Furtick)

So it hasn't happened this year as it should have. My blogging has taken a nose-dive. Truthfully, the first half of this year has been far more busy than I anticipated. I've had more opportunities, new experiences, adventures, more exposure, travelled to new places than many do in a life-time. I've been blessed. Immensely. And I am truly grateful. But I have missed my 'get in touch with me' moments. I've missed putting my thoughts on paper and wondering at the beauty that lies  within.....that part of me that I don't get to see enough of.....that's mostly hidden from those who've only learnt to listen with their ears and see with their eyes.....I've missed me.

So today, just for me, I've decided to come away....to take a moment and just BE....BE still....BE present.....BE introspective, BE open, BE content....BE quiet. There is something to be said about just BE-ing, especially for someone like me who is so caught up with BECOMING. Now don't get me wrong, BECOMING will always be way higher on my score-card than simply BEING. BECOMING is an innate acknowledgement and acceptance that life is about constant growth. But there is a time and a place for everything. And today, right now for me, it's time for BEING.

There is value at the end of a day, - the end of a 'season' in one's life, the end of a phase, an era -  in just standing still and going with the flow....in letting life's waters flow over you...in ceasing the fight, the struggle, in letting go and letting God...especially when you feel like life's got the reigns and is pulling you along at a pace and in  direction you didn't plan on going. You're simply losing control. At those times simply letting go is good for your soul. It's good for your sanity, it's good for your overall well being. And then there are times when "burnout" is the order of the day, everyday. At these times you've got no choice but to just BE.

 Today as I find myself in that place of over-exertion, constant over-drive, over-do, and over-kill, I give myself permission to cease BECOMING for a while. To get off this treadmill I set myself. It's exciting and exhilerating most of the times. Especially because it's not the result of a corporate rat-race or an effort to out-do the Joneses. It's just me wanting to be better than I was yesterday....in every area of my life. But today, right now, I wanna just BE for a couple of days, weeks, months.....who knows? Get to know the me that I really am....to fall in love with this rarely revealed version of myself. To enjoy the stillness of inactivity.....to inhale the fragrance of silence.....to BE.....simply BE....if only for a moment.

What's Your Excuse?

What if I told you that starting this blog had nothing at all to do with an ability to write well? Yeah, I know I liked to put my feelings on paper and that I often enjoyed the way it turned out, but  I knew I didn't have what it takes to make waves. I just knew I was learning things I wanted to share and that I was/am too much of an introvert to do much more than archive these thoughts after I put them on paper. But I wanted to do it anyway. Sometimes we are pulled by forces greater than we have the wits to explain....paradoxically, sometimes we find that we are reluctant followers of the dreams that chase us. We, helplessly, follow blindly on.

You know your dreams and deep desires are bigger than you when they wake you up in the middle of the night, when you feel pregnant with an idea you are ready to birth, when anticipation brings you more joy than anything you've ever experienced, when your desire to create change exceeds your desire to 'be somebody'; when you find that you are no longer willing to allow yourself  an excuse for not showing up; but instead, like Erma Bombeck you find yourself saying, "When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would have not one single bit of talent left and could say, I used everything you gave me."  That's when you know you are living on purpose. That's when your 'why' makes your 'how' and 'what' inconsequential.

The point is, when you are pulled by your dream, you don't allow yourself to be constrained by a lack of know-how; neither are you concerned initially by how your efforts will manifest themselves. You don't wait for perfect external conditions. You take incremental steps toward impacting others, developing your talents along the way. You find a way to use every bit of your talents, you get creative: as we say in Jamaica 'yuh tun yuh hand mek fashin' (you fashion something with bare hands if you need to). 'Imperfect'  is good enough soil for planting the seeds of your vision.

So what's your excuse? What constrains you? What prevents you from answering what you know is a  calling upon your life? What stands in the way of your filling that space in the universe that you were created to fill....that you alone can fill?  It's time to harness the abilities and resources (however small you think they are) with which you have been gifted. It's time to give birth to the child of your dreams. The universe awaits!

Here's to New Beginnings

What is it about the approach of a new year that makes us all so contemplative and reflective? Why do we pull back and take a deep and searching look at the accomplishment side of our life's ledger to see how we performed against the goals we (well, some of us) set ourselves? Of a truth, the threshold of a year is, for many, a palpable reminder of our expendable, fragile existence. It calls us into accountability mode; it evokes a sense of humility and gratitude. For others, it's a time of revelry and celebration.

 Either way, a new year largely represents fresh opportunity - a chance to wipe our slates clean and to begin again. Whether consciously or unconsciously, we tend to see it as a new chapter in the story of our lives. We take stock, we make resolutions; we hope for, and more importantly, plan for a better life from this this time forth.

In reality though, a better life never simply comes on the heels of a new year. It's the reason resolutions often don't get beyond January. Change never happens simply because we wish or dream it into being. Plans and dreams are merely a demonstration of who we wish to be. We are what we do - the habits we've created over a lifetime; the actions we have taken. It is a fact, none of us can guarantee the results of actions but one thing is for sure - inaction guarantees our stagnation.

So what will it be? How will you move forward in 2018? Here's one thing you can do: Make a list of the things you want more of in 2018. These can be both tangible and intangible items. (The first thing on my list is sleep...yes, sleep). In making this initial list, be divergent in your thinking. Anything is fine at this stage. Next, take some time to refine this list. Make your ideas converge around the dreams that mean the most to you. For greatest success here, be a minimalist. Too many things to attempt often lead to discouragement in the long run. Why not try to work on one item for 40 days - they say it takes 40 consecutive days of activity to create a habit. Then make it cumulative if you want to - add each accomplishment to the next 40 days of activity. When you come to take stock at the end of 2018, you'll be amazed at the person you've become.

So, go ahead. Challenge yourself. Take the actions required to take you to the next level. You are the captain of your own ship. In every moment of decision, you determine your destiny. 2018 is entirely up to you.

What You Focus on Grows!

Lately I've been giving a lot of attention to the power of thoughts. "As a man thinketh, so is he," so they say. But how much control do we really have over our thoughts...and if our thoughts are often dark and negative, what does that mean for who we are? Worse, what does it say about who we can become? Does the reality of our 'less than pure' thoughts confine us to a less than desirable life experience? It's something I have often pondered. And if there is any possibility for change, how do we even control our thoughts so as to direct them into paths we want to follow? Does it now mean a constant, mindful re-direction of these thoughts? Sounds exasperating doesn't it?

The very thought of it is intimidating, to say the least. But I have found that this seemingly herculean task  need not be tackled in this fashion. A more productive and fruitful endeavor would be to seek, instead, to try to control the things we give attention to, the things we focus on. Obviously, it is almost impossible to control the thoughts that come knocking at our mind's door, but it is certain that we
 can control what you let it and how long you entertain them. What we focus on grows. I'm pretty certain you've heard that said, and it's true. We give energy, life even, the things we focus on - be they good or evil. It goes without saying, therefore, that we ought to be very careful about the things we give attention to.

The connections between our mental, physical, emotional and spiritual states of being is a whole discussion point in and of itself - one I will not delve into here. Suffice it to say our focused thoughts have the ability to command our physical, emotional and spiritual energies and, as such, our entire state of being. "Be careful what you ask for" indeed. Very careful. Calculated, in fact! We ought to be  strategic in our approach to deciding what grows in our minds and consequently in our lives....what do you want more of? Make a list. What will it take to bring it into being? (Be very clear....thinking about it is not enough; we must ACT to bring it into being...but yes, focused thinking is where it begins). When we focus on the things we are passionate about, the things that serve us well, the things that create happiness and joy in our mental space, we are energized to create the conditions for positive change.

So today, let's commit to focusing our thoughts on the things we want to create in our own lives. Let's give attention to the person we wish to become, the conditions we wish to create, the story we want to tell about our journey. It starts with a vision. "The more clearly we are able to see the vision of the future, the more we are able to borrow from its inspiration." The clearer the vision, the easier it is to develop goals, the achievement of which you give your focus to. Let's give deliberate attention to controlling our focus. It's the best proxy to controlling your thoughts that I know. 

Push past the Obstacles....

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It's been a while and I am still struggling to write another blog article. I am uncertain as to why. It's not for a lack of desire, not for lack of trying - I have been at this computer on countless occasions wanting to - doing my best to - come up with something....anything that could pass as a reward for my effort. Still here I am - blank. But I am a woman on a mission - one with a determination to find some outlet for this need to 'put pen to paper' so even when I haven't figured out how to get beyond this stagnation, I am going to do it anyway.

So here I am...writing like I would in my journal. Just opening up. Not sure these words will see the light of day; not even sure that they represent cogent thought but I must, in this moment, carry out the tasks that I believe are set before me, whether I feel capable, prepared, useful or not. I find when I don't think too hard, when I forget about the audience, when I do it for the love of it, when my deepest motivation is the substantive reason of fulfilling my purpose...it gets done - in spite of....

And in this moment, right now, it is enough that I make the effort; it is enough that I push past this feeling and celebrate the tangible, though imperfect results of my effort. In this moment I am grateful for a greater motivation than accolades and praise. In this moment, I am ecstatic to be grounded deeply in the fertile soil of personal development - that which teaches me to reach beyond self into the realm of service - the recognition that there is always some-one who can benefit from your gifts - even if they are imperfect in the moment.

So there it is...I have finally written my four paragraphs - about nothing in particular; simply, instead, getting beyond the need to satisfy the constraints of ego. I can only, now trust, that should I be courageous enough to publish this article (about nothing in particular) that some-one will be encouraged to push past the feeling of stagnation....to not wait until conditions are perfect, to not wait until your talents are fully developed, to not be constrained by poor conditions; more importantly, to not be confined by pride or ego.....but to do it in spite of....let nothing get in the way of the bigger picture. Push ahead to your larger purpose!

Talent Is Over-Rated...(so are Knowledge and Potential)

I think talent is over-rated. I honestly do. I've found that it's not the people with talent who are hugely successful. Instead, it is those who are willing to do what it takes to get to the goal-post, the ones who scale the hurdles, the ones who are willing to take the big risks, to invest time and effort who eventually get 'the big break.' Now, many times talent and effort meet somewhere along the way...and all the better. The results are even more phenomenal.

 If truth be told, everybody has potential. There's a song we often sang in our childhood days....."I am a promise, I am a possibility....I am a great big bundle of po-ten-ti-al-ity." So true. We are all are. The sad news is that too many remain just that....potential. What is possible. What might be....and then, somewhere, some years, down the road we are merely unutilized potential - what might have been! Sad. The fact is, potential is merely an indicator of what we are capable of. It gives us a clue as to the paths we may successfully negotiate on our way to being purposefully engaged. Neither potential or talent guarantee success.

Sooner or later talent and potential must be converted into activity. What we are capable of and what we actually achieve may not always end up being the same things. Unless we put potential to work, we are likely to find our selves making excuses and little if any progress at all. Have you ever found yourself sitting in a classroom, reading a book or listening to a podcast and telling yourself 'I already know that'? That's good..(I guess)...but what have you DONE about it? Knowledge is never an end in itself. It too, needs to be converted to activity. You must be motivated enough to DO. Beyond, knowledge, talent or potential, it is those only who ACT upon these endowments who manage to eke out the rewards they seek, and more even.

But to be effective, activity needs be planned, intelligent, and consistent. It requires a recognition that talent, potential and knowledge are just half the game...(yep, the math is correct)...the other half requires real effort; real action. It requires a recognition that the rewards we seek are commensurate with the measure of planned, intelligent and consistent effort. Believe me, talent is over-rated (and so are knowledge and potential). The real deal is ACTION. We either get in the game or watch life pass us by.

Perfect is the Enemy of Good

"Perfect is the enemy of good," they say. So, in order that my inclination to perfectionism doesn't prevent me from attempting the everyday-awesome tasks that are set before me, I close my eyes and ears to the obvious lack of flair, the 'ordinary-ness' of the attempts and press ahead - despite the gnawing feeling of under-performance that often accompanies them. That's how it is with me and my writing.

For as long as I can remember, I have loved putting pen to paper (these days, key-board to paper....or whatever it is..) and writing my feelings down. I have loved out-maneuvering and out-arguing my opponents..... on paper....yep, here's where I have won most of my battles. It's been my weapon (maybe unfortunately, I don't know), it's been my hiding place, my happy place, my sounding board, the dumping place for my thoughts, the place of my deepest revelations, where I lay bare my soul...through the mirror of thoughts....where I get in touch with the parts of me that were before then, to me, a stranger.

My most valuable childhood memory is (unbelievably...boringly) that of an article that I wrote which was published in a magazine for children. I was seven years old and proud! The memory hasn't left, though many others have. I know, then, that I am supposed to do something with this...this talent?...this interest, this passion, even. But what do you do when there is a constant call to perfectionism? When something inside you tells you that your efforts are not good enough? When you look around you and there are so many other seemingly superior players in the field? Do you walk away? Do you call it quits? Do you accept that your efforts are not good enough? Do you wait til you've mastered your craft? Or do you do it anyway?

Luckily for me, my love affair with writing pushes me ahead.....in spite of. I couldn't stop even if I wanted to. It's true, this need for perfection could probably cause me to keep my thoughts locked in the sometimes-dark closet of my mind, but luckily a 'higher purpose' makes me want to do more than pander to my ego. And so, whether I have the requisite flair, or whether I lack content, and whether I am able to hold the interest of the 'deeply intellectual,' I do it anyway. I seek not to be perfect.  I seek, instead, to satisfy my calling to inspire and equip. I remind myself that perfect is indeed the enemy of good and I do it anyway.

A Tomorrow Worth Waking Up For...

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There are times in our experiences when we allow ourselves to get so caught up in the ebb and flow of life that we forget the sounds of our own heartbeat. We forget what's really important to us...the things that give life meaning, that which makes life fulfilling .... - as they say...so busy making a living that we forget to make a life.

I find that this happens most when we spend our todays 'working for a better tomorrow'....so focused on the better life we expect to have in the years to come that we miss the blessings of today. We look with hope to the days when we will earn a better income, live in a bigger house, not realising that the house we expend all our time and resources to acquire  robs us of the home we could very well be building today.

Now, don't get me wrong....aspiring for a better tomorrow is a necessary occupation - one that keeps us appropriately focused on our goals. The trouble is, not many of us have learnt how to be 'happily discontented'; we haven't taught ourselves how to be grateful in our current situation no matter how dismal it all seems.

Learning to find beauty in the common affairs of life- in our imperfect relationships, our once-white picket fences, our worm-infested flower gardens - is a sure fire way of engaging with life in such a way as to guarantee the future success we crave. We must come to see that our aspirations for the future, and living a life of happiness, contentment and fulfillment, in the present, are not mutually exclusive. We can have them both....finding meaning ans drawing fulfillment in our lives today,  as we confidently work towards the goals that make our tomorrows worth waking up for!

What am I BECOMING?

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Much has been penned about the important questions we must ask ourselves in life. If you have a tendency toward introversion and introspection, like I do, I am sure you would have asked yourself millions of 'important' questions by now....questions, the answers to which sometimes leave you feeling inadequate, under-accomplished or lacking in some other way...questions such as 'what is my life's purpose?' or 'what has been my contribution to the planet?' Deep searching questions that cause us to feel far from equal to the tasks we set ourselves.

Undoubtedly, these musings arise from our own ambitions and ideals, and if we aren't careful, can possibly lead to discouragement. However, I have come to realize that in the same way that audacious goals are realized one conscious decision at a time, deep and piercing questions can be answered one small lesson at a time, one minuscule, intentional action at a time.

But at the end of the day, the important measures of assessment aren't the answers to the deep philosophical questions of purpose or those of apparently less import - those questions of "What am I earning, what am I achieving, what have I accomplished, or what did I get?" The most important question, I have found, is one that is answered with each daily decision. It is simply 'what am I becoming?' How are my current associates and relationships influencing who I am becoming? What is my career making of me?  How are my current pursuits changing me? When I lay in bed at night and reflect on the day that slipped by, do I like the person I see reflected in my thoughts?  Am I  at peace with who I become day by day?

Many things influence and impact our lives everyday. Some we are able to control, others we aren't. Fortunately, our 'becoming' is one of those things over which we have total control. The words of  holocaust survivor, Viktor Frankl, ring true: "Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way." That, my friends, is the essence of BECOMING - the opportunity and right to choose to be better than we were before, in spite of our circumstances....still, for me, the noblest of our human obligations!

Something bigger than Ourselves

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"A man's worth is no greater than his ambitions." Uttered hundreds of years ago by the Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius, I find these words telling. It is our ambitions that stretch us..... or the lack thereof that confines us - more often than we want to admit to ourselves, if we are honest.. Even a cursory, superficial consideration of these words helps us understand how much  control we ultimately have over who we become. But much as these words stir a chord within me,  I have found that there is a much nobler place to which I aspire to belong. The words of Jim Rohn hold greater sway - "We all need to belong to something bigger than ourselves." Yes, indeed we all need to have ambitions that get us beyond ourselves into making contributions that make a difference in the world around us.

It was Zig Ziglar who said "We can have everything we want in life if you just help enough other people get what they want." Significance is a state of being that all of us as human beings crave. We all want to feel a sense of worth; we want not just to create value, but lasting value. We dream of leaving a legacy for those behind us to appreciate and follow. There are very few among us who are content to come into this world and leave without leaving our foot-prints some place upon this earth. That explains why some folk seek notoriety. It satisfies the desire to not die in obscurity, it delivers from oblivion. Created (yes....I take that for granted) as relational beings, even the introverts among us experience the yearning to get beyond themselves sometimes. The question is, what are you doing about that calling that weighs so heavily upon your heart and mind?

If you are like me, you probably feel inadequate to the task. You're probably even now resigning yourself to thoughts that some-one else is more worthy of the yoke. You've just about rendered your need for significance still-born. May I remind you that "we all need to belong to something bigger than ourselves," something that gets us beyond fear and complacency; beyond selfishness and ego-centric tendencies; We all need to understand the value of helping some-one else realize his/her dreams, to bring health and hope and joy to those who need them more than we do. Now I'm not for one moment advocating that we put our personal ambitions and pursuits aside while we find a cause worthy of our association. On the contrary, I suggest....even declare, that all of us have the ability and the means to make space somewhere in the busy sphere of our existence, somewhere within our own dreams and aspirations, to include a cause that will benefit others, and yes.....live long after us.

So what will you do to start preparing for that cause that's bigger than your personal ambitions? In expending your talents, what will you do to ensure that the primary impact lasts way beyond your own existence? What is it that makes you fierce, angry or passionate? What cause is dear to your heart? Is it animal rights, women's rights, the need for tolerance and diversity in our ever-changing world? Are you a lover of children? Can you be the voice of the voiceless, the champion of the under-served? What little can you do to change the lives of those around you, one baby step at a time? It's time to fully embrace the realization that you need to belong to something that takes you outside of personal ambition. It's time to move beyond the good to the realms of the great! Take that first step.

Time and Chance Happen to All Men

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"Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that's the stuff life is made of." I have often pondered these sage words of the great statesman, author, scientist and all round man of action Benjamin Franklin. As an example of time well spent, Franklin's life stands as the essence of industry and voluntarism. His aversion to time-wasting tells in the eventual outcomes of his life. Time is one of those resources that all of us GET in equal daily quantities, MAKE in proportion to the priorities we set ourselves, and SPEND in ways we choose to.

But then there is another element of life that is offered to all men - not in equal quantities, admittedly, but assuredly in sufficient amounts for all of us to use to our advantage. Call it chance (as does the Bible - "time and chance happens to all...Ecc. 9:11) or call it opportunity, the fact is that to every single one of us is offered the gift of opportunities...opportunities to learn new skills, to improve our talents, to network, to make partnerships, to earn (additional) income, to adopt new philosophies, to change our attitudes...you name it...each new day comes to us attended by opportunities that, if we are attentive, we are bound to see. The truth is, not all opportunities are jaw-dropping; not all are our dreams come true. Most are almost imperceptible, unattractive and down-right unpleasant. As they say, opportunities mostly come in overalls....looking like work.

I'm not sure I know how to say this any differently than I am going to do just now: The fact is that who and what we become in life is altogether a result of what we do with these two most important factors in our lives - time and opportunity. Truthfully, we get equal amounts of time and unequal amounts of opportunity. But I have found that our results are not often tied to the extent of our lives (time) or the number of 'good things' that happen to us. Instead, it's as we learn to give time the respect, regard even reverence it deserves that we begin to realize change. It's as we learn to grasp and build on (not necessarily chase) the opportunities life casts at us, that we begin to rise with the tides, that we improve and grow and overcome and become all it is possible for us to be. Time and chance happen to all men....we've got to learn how to use and leverage them for our benefit.

So how are you using your time in relation to your goals and dreams? Jim Rohn, the guru of business philosophy is known to have often said, "We need to make reasonable progress in measurable time." In other words, time is best measured by the progress we make towards some predefined goals. Time ought not to be spent, or passed unawares...its too precious a commodity. Similarly, opportunities ought not to be allowed to pass us by without our being exercised thereby. We don't chase opportunities. We prepare ourselves to leverage and harness those that tend towards our good. And then we capitalize on them...using them for our continued improvement and the ultimate benefit of mankind. Time and chance happen to all men....they happen to you too...question is, are you allowing them to happen FOR you, or are they just passing you by? Ultimately, what you make of them is entirely up to you.

Learning and Becoming

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"We earn at the level of our learning." So it's been said. Who am I to argue? I'm still learning. And I am learning that LEARNING is the major currency in life.  I'm not talking, necessarily, about formal education here. That gives us a living, for sure....but self education is what makes us a fortune. So said the late great business philosopher, Jim Rohn.

Ever wondered why so many people want to earn big, to become famous, to get rich early on in the process? Unfortunately, sometimes they do, and the journey to the bottom usually comes as quickly as did the journey to the top. Too few understand the value of learning. Too few take the lessons of the past and invest them into the future. Too few are deliberate about pursuing a course of study, on their way to mastery.Indeed, too few seek wisdom and knowledge....and far too many get lost in the glamour of the end-game, oblivious of the learning journey that ought to lead there.

The truth is, in  this our achievement-oriented existence, most of us spend our time focusing on the goals we set ourselves. But it is often said that 'what we get by achieving our goals is far less important than what we become by achieving our goals" Indeed, the value is in the becoming...the learning, the change we experience in response to our changing circumstances. When we begin to savor that learning process is when we strike gold. 

Let me here underscore the importance of setting goals - short term goals as well as long term goals. These are what give us something to go after, something to work towards...and they are crucial. While we pursue that (seemingly elusive) balance in our lives, we must learn to set ourselves some  financial goals, and some career goals, some relationship goals, some health goals, some reading goals and yes...some spirituality goals. Go ahead. But keep in mind that the lessons that you will learn from the bumps along the way, the monumental fails, the missed shots are really where the money is. Keep your eye on the prize.....who you are becoming!

So learn to value learning and becoming. Intellectual learning is good and necessary for your success but the wisdom that comes from a life of learning from your experiences and those of others cannot be over-emphasized. And let's not be fooled into believing the straight line theory, or worse yet, don't believe that the learning will take the shape of a curve. It's gonna be squiggly and erratic, spasmodic and inconsistent. But go after the learnings anyway. Only, understand that who you are becoming will forever be more important than what you are achieving. Now, who are you becoming? 

What problem are You solving?

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One of the best ways to be effective in accomplishing our greatest desires in life is to ask ourselves the very potent question, "What problem am I solving?" It's a question that all new entrepreneurs are advised to answer before taking the plunge into launching a venture. But it is a also question that we need to ask ourselves as we approach each new project, large or small. It's a question we should ask of ourselves everyday if we hope to remain relevant and innovative. It is a critical question. It very frequently spells the difference between success and failure in a new venture. It's pretty much the same thing as it relates to the broader picture - life itself.

Am I making a mountain out of a mole-hill here? Is this much ado about nothing? Hardly! The fact is...the quality of the rewards life throws at us will depend largely on the the kinds of problems we solve for others.  And note well - it's the problems we solve for others (not ourselves) that make the difference. It is only as we extend ourselves beyond our own immediate problems, needs, insufficiencies and seek to provide solutions for the bigger issues that surround us that we begin to impact our world and find our own place in the stars.

So how about us changing our focus from "what problems am I facing?" to "what problems am I solving?" and "for whom am I solving them?" Greatness, by God's design and definition, is achieved only in relation to our willingness to serve others. Master motivator, Zig Ziglar is known to have said "You can have everything in life you want if you just help enough other people get what they want." Seems a paradox, but it's true. It is as we give time to finding solutions that other people value that we experience our greatest levels of effectiveness. Tried and proven! Entrepreneurs know that if a product or service doesn't solve a problem, fill a gap or soothe a pain then its chances of doing well in the market is next to none. In the same way, if our lives amount to little more than a self-serving, unintentional, unfocused existence we can expect to remain and/or become unfulfilled promises to mankind.

 So my challenge to all of us today is this.....find a problem to solve; one significant enough to interest enough people in order to sustain it's impact.....And I'm not asking that we  look outside of our strengths, talents and gifts. I'm asking that we  find and harness those talents. If you're a good cook, find a cause that needs your abilities. If you're an artist, know that there are people looking for your creativity. Understand the value of voluntarism to  your growth. You'll likely need to do that, at least initially, to establish a presence in the market place. Go out and solve some problems for the world around you. You'll be surprised at how many of yours get solved in the process.