Keeping on Track

These past weeks have been for me, a strong lesson in how easy it is (even with a wealth of experience, know-how, a measure of fortitude and tons of good intentions) for our goal of intentional living to get set aside....no, not deliberately, in this instance...but, nonetheless, lost in the hustle of everyday living...much like a 'to-do list' sometimes gets lost under a stack of things being done.

Everyday I awaken to the dilemma of wanting, on the one hand, to live this life to its fullest, yet, on the other hand, finding myself, so often, like a train derailed....derailed by the treachery of routine - routine work, routine conversations, associations, indolence, ...the simple, ordinary things of an ordinary life , the things that 'so easily beset us.' And this, in spite of resolutions to not waste time, opportunities, efforts or relationships. I find in me a struggle to live a life of meaning and significance. Each day I  resolve to stretch toward my personal mantra "I owe it to myself to see what's possible"....but some days that resolution is stillborn....'its lungs won't fill....its heart won't start.'

And I become discouraged, and I despair as I watch the days roll into weeks and months and years. And indeed I bemoan my lack of discipline - for discipline, we are told, is the bridge between goals and accomplishments. But happily, the desire for meaning and significance outweighs the obstacles that life daily
places before me, and so I pick myself up and begin anew the climb. And along the way I mark the milestones, I create some monuments, celebrate the victories, and store these in the recesses of my mind for the times when I go off track - to remind myself of how far I've come.

We've heard it said many times that there is no short-cut to anywhere worth going....and it is unlikely that we are going to get there on a straight track. Without a doubt, we are going to get off-course every now and again. But that's no excuse for quitting. We just have to get far more intentional about the journey. First, we must always keep in mind that the journey is the substance.....not the destination, and thus resolve (yes....resolve)  to enjoy it. Then travel with a journal. Document the milestones, and during your down-times, remind yourself of the victories you have already won. Keep your goals always in sight, and make sure that the reason you do what you do is big enough, and meaningful enough to keep you going.

Keep on gettin' where you're gettin' to. You may get off track sometimes, dust off despair, pick up hope and keep moving!

Caught in the 'Good Intentions' Inertia?

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions" is ancient wisdom that puts me at risk of sounding cliche but it is a risk I am prepared to take. I couldn't say it better myself anyway, and it remains a truism that we all would do well to accept....yeah, whether we believe in hell or not. The point is, we never achieve our desires, our dreams, our goals simply by having good intentions. In the words of  Jim Rohn, "sooner or later our level of activity must equal our level of intent."

 Sir Isaac Newton's law of motion (in this context, the law of inertia) is more than applicable here: "if an object is motionless, it will remain motionless unless acted upon." I have always found it interesting that natural laws are so transferable into the social/psychological sphere.  The truth is, in our experiences the trajectory of our lives remains unchanged unless acted upon by an outside force. And yes, this holds true whether that trajectory is self determined or imposed upon us by circumstances or the by the opinions of others. What is important though is that in the context of personal growth the external force that creates the impetus for change is never sufficient to guarantee momentum. Motivation doesn't last they say. True. We must want change badly enough to, first of all, move our life experience beyond good intentions, and then to guarantee the results we want by sustained effort.

So how then do we move ourselves beyond this personal inertia in which we become so easily entangled? How do we develop the guts to do something different? How do we push ourselves past dreaming to grab a hold of the opportunities that present themselves to us? How do we ensure that the insidious pull of personal inertia doesn't leave us with the pain of regret later on in life? It starts with taking responsibility for our results, recognizing simply that real and sustained change in our circumstances will only happen when there is real change in our philosophies and attitudes...changing the 'set of our sail' in relation to the direction of the wind. Who knows, maybe this post may be the external force that initially acts upon your life circumstances, but real change is up to you....your willingness to move beyond a wish, a dream, a desire, a plan....into action that brings results.

The fact is that your conviction of talent, skills or abilities is worth precious little until you put them into action. And if truth be told, for most of us who want to pursue a dream our first attempts will be less than appealing....nothing to write home about for sure. But we have to be willing to do it, and do it again, and again until we beat the inertia, get it right and start getting the results we are capable of. Its important to recognize that change is up to you......time to get beyond your good  intentions, push past the inertia, develop the right philosophies and attitudes and do the work required to move you from dreamer to achiever. Yes, dreams are important in the beginning, but in the end dreams.....fulfilled or unfulfilled.... become our yardstick for personal value.. that which we judge ourselves by.....you get to choose!

A Place of Passion and Purpose

When Pastor Rick Warren wrote his book "Why on earth am I here", it struck a chord with millions. It asked a question that many of us have found ourselves asking for years....with no answer. "What is my purpose, what mission was I born to fulfill....yes, why on earth am I here?" We've heard it told many times that in order to answer these questions we must first find out what our talents are, what it is that  ignites a fire in our souls, what keeps us up all night......thinking, dreaming... what it is we'd be willing to exchange our most valued possessions for. If you are like me, for many years my search for answers to those questions turned up naught. I knew exactly  what my talents were/are, I knew the things that made me happy but still I could find nothing with which my my spirit and soul connected, nothing that kindled a fire in my heart ......no passion that consumed me. And I felt lost.

I look back now and see that I was lost in a world created for me by others......a world of fulfilling obligations and expectations....living without authenticity, walking in the footprints left behind my others with no question as to whether those footprints fit mine or whether I could be making my own distinctive mark; never quite  understanding the value of self-direction. I had never been in touch with me....oh, yes, I was forever journaling and introspecting, but the truth is I had locked myself into a routine of protocol and observing the status-quo, subconsciously hoping that I was doing well enough that someone would notice and reward me. And even my propensity to rebel was obviously not for me sufficient a signal of the need for self direction.  Until I happened upon the field of personal development and the man I consider its most worthy proponent, Jim Rohn. Then it was that I found that which now constantly consumes me, that which gets me out of bed at night, that which has me wanting to create change.....growth and development - not just in me, but in others; that which has taught me not to see each man as he is, but as he can become; yes, that which now inspires my personal mantra "I owe it to myself to see what's possible." I have found my pearl  of great price.

For me, personal development is both a product and a process. As a product I 'sell' it to anyone who will take the time to listen. It's been beautifully crafted into the lessons for my students, lovingly stirred into the life lessons I pass on to my children, my friends and my colleagues. As a process, it is my daily challenge. It has taught me that the fight is its own reward, that the journey is far more important than the destination, that it is who we become as we are 'getting where we're getting to' that is of infinite value.   I don't know what your passions are. I don't even know where you are along the journey in that search. But there is one thing I know with a measure of certainty. You will never find what it is that defines you, what music your soul dances to, where your passions lie by living according to rules to which your spirit, your being, have given no permission. You must be in a place of authenticity, of self-direction. But let me allow the master philosopher, Jim Rohn, to say it for me here: "Let the views of others educate and inform you, but let your decisions be a product of your own conclusions."

Personal development inspired my journey of intentional living. It taught me the value of awareness, discipline and measurement in creating personal change; It taught me the importance of carefully choosing my associates in order to achieve my goals. The lessons are as tremendous as they are endless. And in the same way, we can  be intentional about finding the passions that lead to our purpose. Do not be constrained by the opinions, desires, rules of others, get in with YOU.....answer the call of your heart and I guarantee that before too long you'll find that place of passion and purpose.

The Decision to Act

All of us, at some point in our experience, have been faced with making decisions we've found agonizing....decisions we know we ought to make, but ones we would much rather take a step back on - many times despite our recognizing that our destinies hinge on these decisions. Whether consciously or unconsciously though,  this unwillingness to engage unwittingly results in a decision not to act, a decision to  do nothing. And though it is a decision that is unlikely to yield the results we desire, it is a decision nonetheless.

 Allow me, at this point, to pull on the wisdom of Theodore Roosevelt to whom the following is attributed: "In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing. The worst thing you can do is nothing." And we have often read these poignant words, acknowledging their truth and gravity: " In the end we only regret the chances we didn't take, the relationships we were too afraid to have and the decisions we waited too long to make." Whether we are aware of it or not, in any moment of decision procrastination steals our time and indecision steals our opportunities.


To expect to have all the information or to control all the variables that will impact a decision is to desire a foregone conclusion..... to face no risk, to not experience vulnerabilities, to embrace no exposure. The reality, however, is that the nature of a decision implies uncertainty and it requires a willingness to make mistakes and learn from them. Making the decision to act is often the most difficult aspect of any endeavor. The rest, we are told, is merely tenacity. At any given point in time we can make a decision to act to change your circumstance, or at the very least to learn the lessons inherent in the wrong decisions.


For many of us, a crisis of significant proportion is required to move us to act in our own best interest. We watch the game from the sidelines and are content to be spectators in the arena of our own lives. We allow the fear of failure, disappointment or loss to prevent us from moving in the direction of or passions and purpose. But whether our decision is to do nothing or to act to advance our vision for our lives, let's keep this truism at the forefront of our minds, "we make our decisions and then our decisions turn around and make us." It's in our hands!

Exit the Stage

All the world's a stage indeed, and whether we want to acknowledge that we are but players on the stage of life or not, the fact is that we all, at some point, find ourselves at a place where we pander to an audience.We crave facebook 'likes' and Twitter followers.  We seek the approval of our peers, our bosses, our parents, our clients - we want to be validated. We want to feel that what we do matters, that people are affected by it, that we are loved, appreciated, respected, admired.   I'm sure the pragmatic among us would say it's good for our egos, and very often serves to fuel our activities and impact our results.

And I guess all of that is understandable. We are gregarious beings. Unfortunately, however, we too often derive our sense of purpose, our value, from the opinion of others. In other words, the value we place on ourselves or our work is too often referenced by people's response to us, or worse, by our perception of that response. Don't get me wrong, however; there is immeasurable (and measurable) market value in client feed-back. And there is value in understanding how your actions impact others - that's why in business we do market research and feasibility studies. However, there is a clear and present danger in allowing ourselves to become so conscious of 'audience' response (whoever that audience is) as to cripple or immobilize us.

The trouble is, if we are not at the place where our 'whys' ( purpose) transcend our 'whats' (objective) we are likely to stay stuck in a valley called discouragement, locked in on either side by fear and indecision. The fact is our vision for our future must be fueled by self-direction. We need to find ourselves in a place where we want something badly enough to be willing to push beyond the opinions of others; to be so attuned to the music of our souls that it is the primary beat  to which we dance; that we get to the place where we remain faithful to our dreams even when the returns are small; that we believe in a cause for which we are willing to yield our last breath, in the quietude of our own parlors, sans a stage and the attendant audience.

Many a passion has died in the cinders of public opinion.  Many a talent has been left undeveloped, underutilized because someone didn't get the approval he/she sought or expected. It is time to draw the line. Time to learn to march to the beat of your own drum. Time to get to the place where you are no longer mere actors on a stage awaiting audience validation. It may mean dispensing with protocol, disregarding societal norms, walking paths never before trod. Whatever it takes, know this: the realization of your dreams lies just beyond the stage. It's time to take a bow and make your exit.

Fighting feelings of Inadequacy

One of the biggest struggles I have faced over the course of my life is a constant and consistent feeling of inadequacy. There are but few times in my life that I have ever felt equal to a task, right for a job, good enough to make the grade, or the best prospect for a potential engagement. Imagine then, the dissonance, the pressure, the discontent, the powder-keg in  my heart and mind when those feelings of inadequacy were juxtaposed against that burning desire in me to 'be somebody'. The result? Anger, frustration...jealousy even.
Now, don't get me wrong, this desire to be somebody was not a fickle (as I see it) desire for fame....I'm talking about a desire to answer my calling, to pursue my passions, to use the gifts with which I have been endowed.

Noble desire if you ask me....but one I couldn't find how to fulfill, one (if I am to be totally honest) I still struggle with. For how was I to find my way out of this bottle-neck of inadequacy?  How was I to push beyond these feelings to find my real worth? And what makes it worse is that, more often than not, these feelings do not confine themselves to one area of your life. They may manifest in your career such that it takes you longer than desired to finish a project, a task, an assignment. My propensity to procrastinate, I have found, is more appropriately addressed not as a cause, but an effect......an effect, and a symptom of my feelings of inadequacy. But they also manifest in our relationships making us feel not pretty enough or  unworthy of the love and affection being directed at us, and consequently our insecurities threaten or de-stabilize our relationships. Our inattention to our health or our appearance may all be a reflection of these feelings of not being enough.....not good enough, not pretty enough, not bright enough.

Mind games! I had often heard it said how crucial our thoughts are to our feelings, and how important our philosophies are to creating those feelings in the first place but I hadn't paid attention. Til now.  The point is, every one of us has the ability and the opportunity to create the world in which we exist by taking control of the things we believe, not just of the world around us, but that which we believe about ourselves. Everyday we have the opportunity to become intentional about what we feed our spirit, our minds. Overcoming feelings of inadequacy requires us developing a correct estimate of our abilities, taking stock of our talents, measuring where we are today in relation to where we want to be and finding ways to fill those gaps. Deliberate design.

The Christian theologian, St. Augustine of Hippo, is known to have said, "People travel to wonder at the height of mountains, at the huge wave of the sea, at the long courses of rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motion of the stars, and they pass by themselves without wondering."  Deep. But the average person finds little about himself with which to be awed. And this has nothing to do with an ego trip. We are of infinite worth, but our value to others will always only be based on the estimate we place on ourselves. People believe what we tell them about ourselves and if we continue to allow our feelings of inadequacy to define us, that's the message we send. Its time to re-define yourself. It's hasn't been easy, but I have taken the bold step. I trust you will too!

Every day Counts

Benjamin Franklin it was who, more than two centuries ago,  said, "Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time for that's the stuff life is made of." Strong point. One that doesn't really leave much room for argument. And isn't it easy, especially for the more conscientious among us, to walk away thinking that those words bring no burden of guilt upon us, for we certainly do not squander time. The word squander after all, bears connotations of a wanton waste of the commodity we have so learnt to value. But there-in lies the problem. For it is but a  few among us who have come to realize that it's the everyday matters that accumulate.

 So few among us have come to the place where we realize that today, today's every choice rolls up into tomorrow, and tomorrow tells for who we become, and where we end up along life's journey. So you may not be big party goers, you may not spend much time with the hip crowd, but still, what did your today look  like in the big scheme of things? In the words of Robert Lewis Stephenson, let me remind you that each day is better judged 'not by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant." The point is, every action (or inaction) today plants a seed. So, as it relates to your health, career, spiritual or financial goals, how would you rate the quality of the seeds you planted today?

Whether you are aware of it or not, in pursuit of your big goals, every single day counts. For our 'big, hairy, audacious' goals are the sum of everyday simple, seemingly insignificant choices. It is easy for us to pass each day without making  a deliberate decision as to whether it will send us further into oblivion or whether it brings us closer to the achievement of our goals. It is easy for us to wake up and go to bed at close of day without adding one iota to our stock of value, however we reckon that value. And that happens very often without notice. Insidiously. And one day turns into two, then three, four...weeks, months and our lives are lived without positive influence or impact, and the light we were created to bring with uniqueness into our world never gets lit.

Your deliberate decision may be as simple as creating a daily do-to list that is aligned to your long term goals or it may be as complex as developing and implementing a personal strategic plan. The choice is yours. What's important is that you craft a strategy for spending each day doing something that brings you closer to realizing your full potential and actualizing your dreams. Yes, it's your life, but never forget ....everyday matters add up and make every day count towards your better future.