Here's to New Beginnings

What is it about the approach of a new year that makes us all so contemplative and reflective? Why do we pull back and take a deep and searching look at the accomplishment side of our life's ledger to see how we performed against the goals we (well, some of us) set ourselves? Of a truth, the threshold of a year is, for many, a palpable reminder of our expendable, fragile existence. It calls us into accountability mode; it evokes a sense of humility and gratitude. For others, it's a time of revelry and celebration.

 Either way, a new year largely represents fresh opportunity - a chance to wipe our slates clean and to begin again. Whether consciously or unconsciously, we tend to see it as a new chapter in the story of our lives. We take stock, we make resolutions; we hope for, and more importantly, plan for a better life from this this time forth.

In reality though, a better life never simply comes on the heels of a new year. It's the reason resolutions often don't get beyond January. Change never happens simply because we wish or dream it into being. Plans and dreams are merely a demonstration of who we wish to be. We are what we do - the habits we've created over a lifetime; the actions we have taken. It is a fact, none of us can guarantee the results of actions but one thing is for sure - inaction guarantees our stagnation.

So what will it be? How will you move forward in 2018? Here's one thing you can do: Make a list of the things you want more of in 2018. These can be both tangible and intangible items. (The first thing on my list is sleep...yes, sleep). In making this initial list, be divergent in your thinking. Anything is fine at this stage. Next, take some time to refine this list. Make your ideas converge around the dreams that mean the most to you. For greatest success here, be a minimalist. Too many things to attempt often lead to discouragement in the long run. Why not try to work on one item for 40 days - they say it takes 40 consecutive days of activity to create a habit. Then make it cumulative if you want to - add each accomplishment to the next 40 days of activity. When you come to take stock at the end of 2018, you'll be amazed at the person you've become.

So, go ahead. Challenge yourself. Take the actions required to take you to the next level. You are the captain of your own ship. In every moment of decision, you determine your destiny. 2018 is entirely up to you.

What You Focus on Grows!

Lately I've been giving a lot of attention to the power of thoughts. "As a man thinketh, so is he," so they say. But how much control do we really have over our thoughts...and if our thoughts are often dark and negative, what does that mean for who we are? Worse, what does it say about who we can become? Does the reality of our 'less than pure' thoughts confine us to a less than desirable life experience? It's something I have often pondered. And if there is any possibility for change, how do we even control our thoughts so as to direct them into paths we want to follow? Does it now mean a constant, mindful re-direction of these thoughts? Sounds exasperating doesn't it?

The very thought of it is intimidating, to say the least. But I have found that this seemingly herculean task  need not be tackled in this fashion. A more productive and fruitful endeavor would be to seek, instead, to try to control the things we give attention to, the things we focus on. Obviously, it is almost impossible to control the thoughts that come knocking at our mind's door, but it is certain that we
 can control what you let it and how long you entertain them. What we focus on grows. I'm pretty certain you've heard that said, and it's true. We give energy, life even, the things we focus on - be they good or evil. It goes without saying, therefore, that we ought to be very careful about the things we give attention to.

The connections between our mental, physical, emotional and spiritual states of being is a whole discussion point in and of itself - one I will not delve into here. Suffice it to say our focused thoughts have the ability to command our physical, emotional and spiritual energies and, as such, our entire state of being. "Be careful what you ask for" indeed. Very careful. Calculated, in fact! We ought to be  strategic in our approach to deciding what grows in our minds and consequently in our lives....what do you want more of? Make a list. What will it take to bring it into being? (Be very clear....thinking about it is not enough; we must ACT to bring it into being...but yes, focused thinking is where it begins). When we focus on the things we are passionate about, the things that serve us well, the things that create happiness and joy in our mental space, we are energized to create the conditions for positive change.

So today, let's commit to focusing our thoughts on the things we want to create in our own lives. Let's give attention to the person we wish to become, the conditions we wish to create, the story we want to tell about our journey. It starts with a vision. "The more clearly we are able to see the vision of the future, the more we are able to borrow from its inspiration." The clearer the vision, the easier it is to develop goals, the achievement of which you give your focus to. Let's give deliberate attention to controlling our focus. It's the best proxy to controlling your thoughts that I know. 

Push past the Obstacles....

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It's been a while and I am still struggling to write another blog article. I am uncertain as to why. It's not for a lack of desire, not for lack of trying - I have been at this computer on countless occasions wanting to - doing my best to - come up with something....anything that could pass as a reward for my effort. Still here I am - blank. But I am a woman on a mission - one with a determination to find some outlet for this need to 'put pen to paper' so even when I haven't figured out how to get beyond this stagnation, I am going to do it anyway.

So here I am...writing like I would in my journal. Just opening up. Not sure these words will see the light of day; not even sure that they represent cogent thought but I must, in this moment, carry out the tasks that I believe are set before me, whether I feel capable, prepared, useful or not. I find when I don't think too hard, when I forget about the audience, when I do it for the love of it, when my deepest motivation is the substantive reason of fulfilling my purpose...it gets done - in spite of....

And in this moment, right now, it is enough that I make the effort; it is enough that I push past this feeling and celebrate the tangible, though imperfect results of my effort. In this moment I am grateful for a greater motivation than accolades and praise. In this moment, I am ecstatic to be grounded deeply in the fertile soil of personal development - that which teaches me to reach beyond self into the realm of service - the recognition that there is always some-one who can benefit from your gifts - even if they are imperfect in the moment.

So there it is...I have finally written my four paragraphs - about nothing in particular; simply, instead, getting beyond the need to satisfy the constraints of ego. I can only, now trust, that should I be courageous enough to publish this article (about nothing in particular) that some-one will be encouraged to push past the feeling of stagnation....to not wait until conditions are perfect, to not wait until your talents are fully developed, to not be constrained by poor conditions; more importantly, to not be confined by pride or ego.....but to do it in spite of....let nothing get in the way of the bigger picture. Push ahead to your larger purpose!

Talent Is Over-Rated...(so are Knowledge and Potential)

I think talent is over-rated. I honestly do. I've found that it's not the people with talent who are hugely successful. Instead, it is those who are willing to do what it takes to get to the goal-post, the ones who scale the hurdles, the ones who are willing to take the big risks, to invest time and effort who eventually get 'the big break.' Now, many times talent and effort meet somewhere along the way...and all the better. The results are even more phenomenal.

 If truth be told, everybody has potential. There's a song we often sang in our childhood days....."I am a promise, I am a possibility....I am a great big bundle of po-ten-ti-al-ity." So true. We are all are. The sad news is that too many remain just that....potential. What is possible. What might be....and then, somewhere, some years, down the road we are merely unutilized potential - what might have been! Sad. The fact is, potential is merely an indicator of what we are capable of. It gives us a clue as to the paths we may successfully negotiate on our way to being purposefully engaged. Neither potential or talent guarantee success.

Sooner or later talent and potential must be converted into activity. What we are capable of and what we actually achieve may not always end up being the same things. Unless we put potential to work, we are likely to find our selves making excuses and little if any progress at all. Have you ever found yourself sitting in a classroom, reading a book or listening to a podcast and telling yourself 'I already know that'? That's good..(I guess)...but what have you DONE about it? Knowledge is never an end in itself. It too, needs to be converted to activity. You must be motivated enough to DO. Beyond, knowledge, talent or potential, it is those only who ACT upon these endowments who manage to eke out the rewards they seek, and more even.

But to be effective, activity needs be planned, intelligent, and consistent. It requires a recognition that talent, potential and knowledge are just half the game...(yep, the math is correct)...the other half requires real effort; real action. It requires a recognition that the rewards we seek are commensurate with the measure of planned, intelligent and consistent effort. Believe me, talent is over-rated (and so are knowledge and potential). The real deal is ACTION. We either get in the game or watch life pass us by.

Perfect is the Enemy of Good

"Perfect is the enemy of good," they say. So, in order that my inclination to perfectionism doesn't prevent me from attempting the everyday-awesome tasks that are set before me, I close my eyes and ears to the obvious lack of flair, the 'ordinary-ness' of the attempts and press ahead - despite the gnawing feeling of under-performance that often accompanies them. That's how it is with me and my writing.

For as long as I can remember, I have loved putting pen to paper (these days, key-board to paper....or whatever it is..) and writing my feelings down. I have loved out-maneuvering and out-arguing my opponents..... on paper....yep, here's where I have won most of my battles. It's been my weapon (maybe unfortunately, I don't know), it's been my hiding place, my happy place, my sounding board, the dumping place for my thoughts, the place of my deepest revelations, where I lay bare my soul...through the mirror of thoughts....where I get in touch with the parts of me that were before then, to me, a stranger.

My most valuable childhood memory is (unbelievably...boringly) that of an article that I wrote which was published in a magazine for children. I was seven years old and proud! The memory hasn't left, though many others have. I know, then, that I am supposed to do something with this...this talent?...this interest, this passion, even. But what do you do when there is a constant call to perfectionism? When something inside you tells you that your efforts are not good enough? When you look around you and there are so many other seemingly superior players in the field? Do you walk away? Do you call it quits? Do you accept that your efforts are not good enough? Do you wait til you've mastered your craft? Or do you do it anyway?

Luckily for me, my love affair with writing pushes me ahead.....in spite of. I couldn't stop even if I wanted to. It's true, this need for perfection could probably cause me to keep my thoughts locked in the sometimes-dark closet of my mind, but luckily a 'higher purpose' makes me want to do more than pander to my ego. And so, whether I have the requisite flair, or whether I lack content, and whether I am able to hold the interest of the 'deeply intellectual,' I do it anyway. I seek not to be perfect.  I seek, instead, to satisfy my calling to inspire and equip. I remind myself that perfect is indeed the enemy of good and I do it anyway.

A Tomorrow Worth Waking Up For...

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There are times in our experiences when we allow ourselves to get so caught up in the ebb and flow of life that we forget the sounds of our own heartbeat. We forget what's really important to us...the things that give life meaning, that which makes life fulfilling .... - as they say...so busy making a living that we forget to make a life.

I find that this happens most when we spend our todays 'working for a better tomorrow'....so focused on the better life we expect to have in the years to come that we miss the blessings of today. We look with hope to the days when we will earn a better income, live in a bigger house, not realising that the house we expend all our time and resources to acquire  robs us of the home we could very well be building today.

Now, don't get me wrong....aspiring for a better tomorrow is a necessary occupation - one that keeps us appropriately focused on our goals. The trouble is, not many of us have learnt how to be 'happily discontented'; we haven't taught ourselves how to be grateful in our current situation no matter how dismal it all seems.

Learning to find beauty in the common affairs of life- in our imperfect relationships, our once-white picket fences, our worm-infested flower gardens - is a sure fire way of engaging with life in such a way as to guarantee the future success we crave. We must come to see that our aspirations for the future, and living a life of happiness, contentment and fulfillment, in the present, are not mutually exclusive. We can have them both....finding meaning ans drawing fulfillment in our lives today,  as we confidently work towards the goals that make our tomorrows worth waking up for!

What am I BECOMING?

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Much has been penned about the important questions we must ask ourselves in life. If you have a tendency toward introversion and introspection, like I do, I am sure you would have asked yourself millions of 'important' questions by now....questions, the answers to which sometimes leave you feeling inadequate, under-accomplished or lacking in some other way...questions such as 'what is my life's purpose?' or 'what has been my contribution to the planet?' Deep searching questions that cause us to feel far from equal to the tasks we set ourselves.

Undoubtedly, these musings arise from our own ambitions and ideals, and if we aren't careful, can possibly lead to discouragement. However, I have come to realize that in the same way that audacious goals are realized one conscious decision at a time, deep and piercing questions can be answered one small lesson at a time, one minuscule, intentional action at a time.

But at the end of the day, the important measures of assessment aren't the answers to the deep philosophical questions of purpose or those of apparently less import - those questions of "What am I earning, what am I achieving, what have I accomplished, or what did I get?" The most important question, I have found, is one that is answered with each daily decision. It is simply 'what am I becoming?' How are my current associates and relationships influencing who I am becoming? What is my career making of me?  How are my current pursuits changing me? When I lay in bed at night and reflect on the day that slipped by, do I like the person I see reflected in my thoughts?  Am I  at peace with who I become day by day?

Many things influence and impact our lives everyday. Some we are able to control, others we aren't. Fortunately, our 'becoming' is one of those things over which we have total control. The words of  holocaust survivor, Viktor Frankl, ring true: "Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way." That, my friends, is the essence of BECOMING - the opportunity and right to choose to be better than we were before, in spite of our circumstances....still, for me, the noblest of our human obligations!