What does it mean to BE AUTHENTIC anyway?

There has been a lot of talk in recent years about authenticity, standing in integrity and being who you truly are. The thought is indeed exciting and sits well with almost all of us....after all, who doesn't want to be in touch with their souls, to be true at their core, to dance to their own song? I dare so we all do....even those who are not courageous enough to actually do it. The urge is still present, the yearning is still real.

Yet, with all this, there are still those who struggle to find, to know, to understand who this 'true me' is. What does it mean to be your authentic self? When you are constantly faced with your flaws and imperfections, when you desire, aspire to change; when you long to be something (not necessarily someone) different....in that context... what does being authentic mean?
Is your authentic self the negative, toxic person that you are, or is it the friendly encouraging person you aspire, long to be?

When you aspire to take your thoughts and dreams, your life vision to the next level but you feel the constant pull and urgings of your former existence, which of these is real? What is an authentic response? Keeping in mind that your former place of existence - the way of being you want to leave behind - may not necessarily be a bad thing, how do you know that this is not who you truly are/were meant to be? When you stand in that bridge who exactly is the real you?

The question that weighs heavily on my mind sometimes is 'what defines something or someone as inauthentic? How does one know that he/she is standing in integrity? What are the signs and triggers? Are there any signs and triggers? One might say....

Lies, obviously
How about an unwillingness to be vulnerable?
Not being responsive to gut feelings?
Denying your personal ambitions?
Holding on to beliefs and dogma fed to you by others without having done your own assessment?
How about holding on to other people's 'truths'?
Feeling obligated to live up to the expectations of others?
A strong desire to deliver 'perfect' results all the time?
Not perceiving failure as the gift it is?
Having a strong need to impress others at the expense of your own happiness?

Is there even a universal definition of authenticity? And, if not, is it therefore not subject to individual definitions of truth?  We hear people say 'live your truth,' the implication being that being that for each of us to be authentic all of us must allow for the diversities which will show up amongst us.

I don't know where you are today in your search/struggle for authenticity. I know for sure, though, that it is a indeed a huge struggle to get from one place to the next, and to keep trying to show up as your true self. I know as well that it is worth every bit if the struggle. You may not like the person you see in the process of transition but I can almost guarantee that you will fall in  love with the girl/guy you meet on the other side.....and you'll know for sure when you get there... for it is that moment when you feel at peace at your very core!

I find there is much to be grateful for.....

Another birthday rolls around and I find that there is much to be grateful for. I know I have been divinely favoured especially in these very recent years. Sometimes I feel hand-picked "for such a time as this" and in these quiet moments of reflection that a birthday normally affords, I cannot help but feel overwhelmed with the awesome mantle I am called to bear. I am grateful everyday that our Creator sees in me that which I was unable to see for so long. I am eternally grateful for the grace He has afforded me over the years.

Birthdays  often bring us to a place of quiet reflection. We are forced to contend with thoughts of what we have achieved over the years...whether our accomplishments match our goals we set ourselves over the years....what if we had done that thing our heart longed/longs for....where might we have been had we been brave enough to take the risks that could have been life-changing. Yeah, birthdays have a way of doing that to you....if you are not careful where your thoughts take you.

But today as I contemplate the great 'what ifs' and 'whethers' of my own life, I am forced to shelf any lingering thoughts of underachievement and inadequacy. I am instead faced with an overwhelming sense of gratitude. Yes......look how far I have come. Look what God has done....Look at what I have left behind....and I am reveling in the freedom that I am afforded to simply be....and become. I know that every tomorrow is divinely ordained. I know that every tomorrow will count for something...something bigger than me....I know the purpose to which I am called, I see the Plan into which I fit...I see my role and I gladly put on the mantle....I will create the change to which I am called.

So today...now....right in this moment of this 'next level' birthday. I pause....and I give thanks. For the blessings of this moment....for the hope of tomorrow....for the friends who have been with me on this journey...for the lives I have been able to impact so far and for those I will influence who I have not yet met. I am grateful for every lesson learnt on the journey so far and I look forward to the many lessons of the future. I listen to the age-old wisdom of men but I defer to the Wisdom of the Divine. I eagerly anticipate each new day, knowing that God is doing a new thing in me. I claim it even as I move into a new era of accomplishments with faith and humility.

Happy birthday to me. I immerse myself even now in an anticipation of the future. Forever in His debt.

I wanna just BE....if only for a moment

(Steven Furtick)

So it hasn't happened this year as it should have. My blogging has taken a nose-dive. Truthfully, the first half of this year has been far more busy than I anticipated. I've had more opportunities, new experiences, adventures, more exposure, travelled to new places than many do in a life-time. I've been blessed. Immensely. And I am truly grateful. But I have missed my 'get in touch with me' moments. I've missed putting my thoughts on paper and wondering at the beauty that lies  within.....that part of me that I don't get to see enough of.....that's mostly hidden from those who've only learnt to listen with their ears and see with their eyes.....I've missed me.

So today, just for me, I've decided to come away....to take a moment and just BE....BE still....BE present.....BE introspective, BE open, BE content....BE quiet. There is something to be said about just BE-ing, especially for someone like me who is so caught up with BECOMING. Now don't get me wrong, BECOMING will always be way higher on my score-card than simply BEING. BECOMING is an innate acknowledgement and acceptance that life is about constant growth. But there is a time and a place for everything. And today, right now for me, it's time for BEING.

There is value at the end of a day, - the end of a 'season' in one's life, the end of a phase, an era -  in just standing still and going with the flow....in letting life's waters flow over you...in ceasing the fight, the struggle, in letting go and letting God...especially when you feel like life's got the reigns and is pulling you along at a pace and in  direction you didn't plan on going. You're simply losing control. At those times simply letting go is good for your soul. It's good for your sanity, it's good for your overall well being. And then there are times when "burnout" is the order of the day, everyday. At these times you've got no choice but to just BE.

 Today as I find myself in that place of over-exertion, constant over-drive, over-do, and over-kill, I give myself permission to cease BECOMING for a while. To get off this treadmill I set myself. It's exciting and exhilerating most of the times. Especially because it's not the result of a corporate rat-race or an effort to out-do the Joneses. It's just me wanting to be better than I was yesterday....in every area of my life. But today, right now, I wanna just BE for a couple of days, weeks, months.....who knows? Get to know the me that I really am....to fall in love with this rarely revealed version of myself. To enjoy the stillness of inactivity.....to inhale the fragrance of silence.....to BE.....simply BE....if only for a moment.

What's Your Excuse?

What if I told you that starting this blog had nothing at all to do with an ability to write well? Yeah, I know I liked to put my feelings on paper and that I often enjoyed the way it turned out, but  I knew I didn't have what it takes to make waves. I just knew I was learning things I wanted to share and that I was/am too much of an introvert to do much more than archive these thoughts after I put them on paper. But I wanted to do it anyway. Sometimes we are pulled by forces greater than we have the wits to explain....paradoxically, sometimes we find that we are reluctant followers of the dreams that chase us. We, helplessly, follow blindly on.

You know your dreams and deep desires are bigger than you when they wake you up in the middle of the night, when you feel pregnant with an idea you are ready to birth, when anticipation brings you more joy than anything you've ever experienced, when your desire to create change exceeds your desire to 'be somebody'; when you find that you are no longer willing to allow yourself  an excuse for not showing up; but instead, like Erma Bombeck you find yourself saying, "When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would have not one single bit of talent left and could say, I used everything you gave me."  That's when you know you are living on purpose. That's when your 'why' makes your 'how' and 'what' inconsequential.

The point is, when you are pulled by your dream, you don't allow yourself to be constrained by a lack of know-how; neither are you concerned initially by how your efforts will manifest themselves. You don't wait for perfect external conditions. You take incremental steps toward impacting others, developing your talents along the way. You find a way to use every bit of your talents, you get creative: as we say in Jamaica 'yuh tun yuh hand mek fashin' (you fashion something with bare hands if you need to). 'Imperfect'  is good enough soil for planting the seeds of your vision.

So what's your excuse? What constrains you? What prevents you from answering what you know is a  calling upon your life? What stands in the way of your filling that space in the universe that you were created to fill....that you alone can fill?  It's time to harness the abilities and resources (however small you think they are) with which you have been gifted. It's time to give birth to the child of your dreams. The universe awaits!

Here's to New Beginnings

What is it about the approach of a new year that makes us all so contemplative and reflective? Why do we pull back and take a deep and searching look at the accomplishment side of our life's ledger to see how we performed against the goals we (well, some of us) set ourselves? Of a truth, the threshold of a year is, for many, a palpable reminder of our expendable, fragile existence. It calls us into accountability mode; it evokes a sense of humility and gratitude. For others, it's a time of revelry and celebration.

 Either way, a new year largely represents fresh opportunity - a chance to wipe our slates clean and to begin again. Whether consciously or unconsciously, we tend to see it as a new chapter in the story of our lives. We take stock, we make resolutions; we hope for, and more importantly, plan for a better life from this this time forth.

In reality though, a better life never simply comes on the heels of a new year. It's the reason resolutions often don't get beyond January. Change never happens simply because we wish or dream it into being. Plans and dreams are merely a demonstration of who we wish to be. We are what we do - the habits we've created over a lifetime; the actions we have taken. It is a fact, none of us can guarantee the results of actions but one thing is for sure - inaction guarantees our stagnation.

So what will it be? How will you move forward in 2018? Here's one thing you can do: Make a list of the things you want more of in 2018. These can be both tangible and intangible items. (The first thing on my list is sleep...yes, sleep). In making this initial list, be divergent in your thinking. Anything is fine at this stage. Next, take some time to refine this list. Make your ideas converge around the dreams that mean the most to you. For greatest success here, be a minimalist. Too many things to attempt often lead to discouragement in the long run. Why not try to work on one item for 40 days - they say it takes 40 consecutive days of activity to create a habit. Then make it cumulative if you want to - add each accomplishment to the next 40 days of activity. When you come to take stock at the end of 2018, you'll be amazed at the person you've become.

So, go ahead. Challenge yourself. Take the actions required to take you to the next level. You are the captain of your own ship. In every moment of decision, you determine your destiny. 2018 is entirely up to you.

What You Focus on Grows!

Lately I've been giving a lot of attention to the power of thoughts. "As a man thinketh, so is he," so they say. But how much control do we really have over our thoughts...and if our thoughts are often dark and negative, what does that mean for who we are? Worse, what does it say about who we can become? Does the reality of our 'less than pure' thoughts confine us to a less than desirable life experience? It's something I have often pondered. And if there is any possibility for change, how do we even control our thoughts so as to direct them into paths we want to follow? Does it now mean a constant, mindful re-direction of these thoughts? Sounds exasperating doesn't it?

The very thought of it is intimidating, to say the least. But I have found that this seemingly herculean task  need not be tackled in this fashion. A more productive and fruitful endeavor would be to seek, instead, to try to control the things we give attention to, the things we focus on. Obviously, it is almost impossible to control the thoughts that come knocking at our mind's door, but it is certain that we
 can control what you let it and how long you entertain them. What we focus on grows. I'm pretty certain you've heard that said, and it's true. We give energy, life even, the things we focus on - be they good or evil. It goes without saying, therefore, that we ought to be very careful about the things we give attention to.

The connections between our mental, physical, emotional and spiritual states of being is a whole discussion point in and of itself - one I will not delve into here. Suffice it to say our focused thoughts have the ability to command our physical, emotional and spiritual energies and, as such, our entire state of being. "Be careful what you ask for" indeed. Very careful. Calculated, in fact! We ought to be  strategic in our approach to deciding what grows in our minds and consequently in our lives....what do you want more of? Make a list. What will it take to bring it into being? (Be very clear....thinking about it is not enough; we must ACT to bring it into being...but yes, focused thinking is where it begins). When we focus on the things we are passionate about, the things that serve us well, the things that create happiness and joy in our mental space, we are energized to create the conditions for positive change.

So today, let's commit to focusing our thoughts on the things we want to create in our own lives. Let's give attention to the person we wish to become, the conditions we wish to create, the story we want to tell about our journey. It starts with a vision. "The more clearly we are able to see the vision of the future, the more we are able to borrow from its inspiration." The clearer the vision, the easier it is to develop goals, the achievement of which you give your focus to. Let's give deliberate attention to controlling our focus. It's the best proxy to controlling your thoughts that I know. 

Push past the Obstacles....

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It's been a while and I am still struggling to write another blog article. I am uncertain as to why. It's not for a lack of desire, not for lack of trying - I have been at this computer on countless occasions wanting to - doing my best to - come up with something....anything that could pass as a reward for my effort. Still here I am - blank. But I am a woman on a mission - one with a determination to find some outlet for this need to 'put pen to paper' so even when I haven't figured out how to get beyond this stagnation, I am going to do it anyway.

So here I am...writing like I would in my journal. Just opening up. Not sure these words will see the light of day; not even sure that they represent cogent thought but I must, in this moment, carry out the tasks that I believe are set before me, whether I feel capable, prepared, useful or not. I find when I don't think too hard, when I forget about the audience, when I do it for the love of it, when my deepest motivation is the substantive reason of fulfilling my purpose...it gets done - in spite of....

And in this moment, right now, it is enough that I make the effort; it is enough that I push past this feeling and celebrate the tangible, though imperfect results of my effort. In this moment I am grateful for a greater motivation than accolades and praise. In this moment, I am ecstatic to be grounded deeply in the fertile soil of personal development - that which teaches me to reach beyond self into the realm of service - the recognition that there is always some-one who can benefit from your gifts - even if they are imperfect in the moment.

So there it is...I have finally written my four paragraphs - about nothing in particular; simply, instead, getting beyond the need to satisfy the constraints of ego. I can only, now trust, that should I be courageous enough to publish this article (about nothing in particular) that some-one will be encouraged to push past the feeling of stagnation....to not wait until conditions are perfect, to not wait until your talents are fully developed, to not be constrained by poor conditions; more importantly, to not be confined by pride or ego.....but to do it in spite of....let nothing get in the way of the bigger picture. Push ahead to your larger purpose!