Staying Grounded to What's Real

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I am always amazed at how easily my fingers glide over the computer keyboard, or my pen over  paper, as I empty my thoughts into my diary or some private space where my soul is not laid bare to the ravages of vulnerability. Absolutely no difficulty in putting my thoughts down. I've come to realize how different things become the moment I begin to write with an audience in mind. I search for the right words, or combinations thereof. I try to find the right rhythm. I want my audience to be impressed; I become preoccupied with the impact I want to leave on the reader's mind. But I find that it makes the task of  writing burdensome and unpleasant. I feel like I am pandering to the needs of others.

On the other hand, when I open my private  journal to pour my heart out into its pages, my fingers glide. Obviously, I have no concern for whether my words flow, how they will be perceived, or how widely they will be read, It's real. I'm real. My most authentic self comes flowing effortlessly unto the pages. The person I aspire to be stares back at me through the pages of words I unfurl. And I fall in love with the person I see; the person  I don't see enough. The person I am. I wish all of life was like that. Authentic; totally un-fabricated; imperfect...yet perfect in this moment; with no artificially imposed standards or expectations. I find I want to be in this place more often. No pressure; just simply reveling in the intellectual freedom that abounds there.

So how do I capture and preserve these moments? How do I write material in hopes that others will benefit, yet divorce myself from the confines of their opinions? How do I scratch my own itch in the face of all the the other itches and irritations of other people that daily impose themselves upon my existence? I remind myself that while I want my writing to benefit others, ultimately writing is simply one of the vehicles through which MY purpose is revealed and expressed. I refuse to be derailed by the agendas and opinions of others. I remind myself of the thousands of others before me who have been robbed of their dreams by people who have never attempted anything significant in their lives. Yep, I remind myself that ultimately, my most important audience right now is one - that's me....and I am always rooting for me.

I am grateful that my desire to share and improve my talents and know-how have always been stronger than my desire for an audience; or else I might have stopped long ago. You see I have not taken the time to learn how to 'drive an audience' to my blog, convert leads, or how to earn from it. Rather, I have needed to know that I would do it whether I failed or I succeeded. I have needed to carry on for the sake of doing what mattered to me.....and  I feel today that I have done that...with no audience. And it feels good. I guess an audience is good (at least sometimes) and ratings are great, I suppose....but the truth is, that's all vicissitudinous. I've got to stay grounded. For me, it's too dangerous to hand my future, so early on, to the platitudes of the unenthusiastic. I've got to keep staring me in the face and reminding myself of why I do what I do. I remind myself I am enough. And I carry on.

Saying Yes to the Right Opportunites

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Here's an important caveat to my last post re opportunities: In order to attract the right opportunities we must learn to say no to those requests that advance a selfish agenda and YES to those that completely align to our purpose of making a difference in the lives of others. Interestingly, our purpose on earth always involves creating change in the lives of others. Obviously what that looks like will vary, but it always comes back to something outside of ourselves....but I digressed, so let me take the conversation back to it's original intent - saying yes to the right opportunities.

The truth is that many opportunities will come our way as we become intentional about our personal development. Obviously they will catch us at various times and seasons of our lives. In the summer or spring time of our lives, we may be better able to choose only those opportunities that help us along our path to a meaningful existence. However, when winter sets in, when funds are low and debts are high, our ability to reject some offers may not be as strong. Our circumstances may require that we diverge a little from the path. As they say, "sometimes we have to do what we have to do until we can do what we want to do." It's all good. It's a part of the learning. All lessons are welcome.

What's important is that we are able to identify and differentiate between them. Not every income earning opportunity advances our long-term goals; not every project that comes to the table gets us farther up on the ladder to the top; not every ball that is pitched at us, improves our ability to swing. We must learn to identify the opportunities that benefit our cause, long before they come knocking. The truth is, opportunities to fulfill our purpose (that's what we're talking bout, right?) never come clothed in ego-boosting proposals. They usually provide a gateway to assisting others..and oh, yeah...they often provide a chance for earning too.

So the next time you're faced with a difficult decision as to whether to take up an offer, consider whether the opportunity advances your long term desire for meaning and purpose. If the circumstances (financial, social or otherwise) do not dictate that you must pursue these opportunities, say no. Leave space for the things that bring meaning and satisfaction.....those things that fuel your passions and take you outside of yourself. Go for those that will help you leave a legacy that's bigger than you are.

Opportunities Will Come

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This may be contrary to popular opinion as it relates to success. And that's okay. I have found over the years, as I have tried to organize my life around the major principles and tenets of success, that though many of these principles are common, quite a number of successful persons have at times veered from the popularly-held success fundamentals and have created other rules that have worked for them. I may be at the same place as it relates to the pursuit of opportunities.

It was Benjamin Disraeli who said "the secret of success in life is for a man to be ready for his opportunity when it comes." There are those who trumpet the importance of pursuing and seizing opportunities...and I guess it is important - depending probably on your personal success definition. I am one of those who believe, however, that opportunities will always come to the one who is sufficiently prepared to claim them. When the axe has been properly sharpened, felling trees is no longer a matter of strength, but of expedition and craftsmanship.

So the greater focus, I have come to believe, should  be placed on being and becoming the person it will take to master the opportunities that will come along. Marketing efforts come to naught if the product is flawed. Subsequent opportunities are lost if the current one is poorly executed. Sometimes it's not so much about the quantity of opportunities that come by, but the quality of those we implement. A satisfied customer does more to guarantee another sale/opportunity than any amount of fancy marketing campaign ever will.

So what are you doing to sharpen your axe? What is your strategy for becoming the best marketer/author/teacher/entrepreneur you can be? How is your personal growth plan progressing? How many lives have you impacted with your product/your philosophies in the last year? Let's be clear on this....no matter how good your product/service is, it is the personal philosophies and attitudes behind it that will make it sustainable or not. Your business/ideas/projects will grow only to the level of your own personal growth. So stop worrying about opportunities, you will attract them as you evolve....and that evolution is a lifetime work.

Finish Strong

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Today it is not so much about what I write as it is that I write. Purely symbolic, maybe. But important. Critically important. Important that I close 2016 and step over into 2017 from my happy place...doing what I absolutely love to do....in private, nakedly baring my soul.....in public, painting word pictures on the canvas of your mind. How are you finishing the year?


Did you finish strong? It may have been a turbulent year. Nothing much may have gone the way you planned. Life's like that. It throws us in at the deep end sometimes and if we're not careful, sink we will. I had many of those days this year. There were days I felt the futility of my efforts hit me straight in the face; days I felt overwhelmed and under-appreciated; times when I felt weighed down by a sense of stagnation and sterility. But then I learned that all this is a part of the process.

And so I kept at it. The good thing in all this is that I learnt long ago not to play to an audience, and  I've learnt over time to shed things I have no interest in...things I do not feel called to do. And so today, I am driven by passion and purpose,,,,and that helps. It helps to provide the fuel when my natural adrenalin levels dip; It keeps me going when there are no cheers (and that's more often than not). And maybe most importantly, I've learned that in any moment, right at that moment, all is as it should be. And I forge ahead.

And so through the ebb and flow of 2016, I have kept the keen awareness that all is in alignment. I watched as others around me prospered, and I wished them well. I did my best to build others up; I built a bridge where I could....and I let it be. I didn't chase opportunities, but eventually they came. I learnt the value of discipline and I set my sights towards BECOMING....and eventually I finished strong.

So yes....there's no way I could have closed this year without coming back to my happy place....to celebrate my strong finish; to express my gratitude to my Creator; to reflect on all that has passed and to embrace this strong sense of hope that I have for 2017.....for my own growth, but more importantly, for the thousands I plan to assist in building something worthwhile...for the difference I will make in big and small ways. I trust you have already accounted your blessings and realize that you finished strong. But if you haven't yet, there's still time. In the dying moments of 2016...reflect on your path and count all the ways you conquered and indeed you'll find that you did, after all, finish strong.

It's Your Race.....Your Pace

Discipline, they say, is the bridge between goals and accomplishments. It is the single most important ingredient in our 'becoming'.....and becoming is what life is all about.....at least that's my view....more than my view, in fact.....my obsession. Becoming better. Becoming more.

The only trouble is, I lack discipline. I fight to set myself goals and some days I achieve them. But then there are days I can't stand to hear the word. Some days I just want to live free...no constraints, no artificially imposed standards of behaviour, nothing I don't absolutely want to do in the moment. And it's then that I live 'free.'

But the consequences are heavy. I see my 'becoming' fade even further into the distance. I see that elusive version of myself slowly drifting asea, further and further from my grasp....and 'becoming' becomes an even more painful reality. And I wonder if it's even worth it. After all, what's all the fuss about? At worst, I remain who or what I am...and I'm not such a bad version of me right now, am I?

It's called rationalization. Trouble is, it works for some.....not for me.

It leaves me forlorn....downright unhappy. So I keep at it. I don't always keep the daily routines that lead to discipline, and so I don't always make the big goals. I'm not as consistent as I ought to be. But I put something into everyday...because I know that everyday counts towards my 'becoming' who I want to be...

But be careful now...setting and not meeting goals can be the easiest way to demotivate yourself. So be gentle with yourself. Discipline is important. Consistency is critical. But you may want to go easy on the 'big hairy audacious goals' sometimes. I like the small achievable ones. The ones that build self-confidence...little by little. The ones that don't quite stretch you yet....the results are not usually very noticeable but that's okay. It's that little extra that makes the difference. 

So if you find that you have not been meeting the goals you've set yourself on your way to becoming more, maybe you need to step back a little. It's your race. Your pace. It need not be a sprint. Slow progress is better than no progress. Consistent slow progress is fine...much better than 'big, hairy, audacious goals' met once in a while. Keep at it!

Don't be Scared of a little "Scared"

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It's the season to talk about being scared so here goes: Have you ever felt like you are on the threshold of something big, like you've built up enough momentum to take you to the next level but you find yourself too scared to take the next step? You calculate the risks, take stock of the sacrifices you would need to make, and are just too petrified to make another move? I don't know, but they say you're in good company. They say anybody who's ever had some measure of success has felt the fear and made the plunge anyway. (Not sure who 'they' is either....I'm just going with the flow.... ). Seriously though.....I've come to realize that feeling fear and vulnerability are necessary parts of the journey. Business owners risk that the market will accept a new product or innovation; Potential start-up investors know that on average seven out of ten of these investments go belly-up. Most new entrepreneurs hear the 'eight out of ten new ventures fail' tale every-day. But they do it anyway. I guess everybody comes to the place where they realize it's do or die.

Some weeks ago, as I read Brene Brown's "Daring greatly", I was faced with two big questions. One I had heard many times over, "What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail?" It's a question I have answered several times in my mind - ranging from running a full time business (and yes, its all done on paper) to speaking to a live audience of thousands - but the second question is what really got me thinking (and excited). She asked us to contemplate "what's worth doing even if you fail?" Hmmmm. Now that's something else. What's important enough to you to risk failing at? What matters enough to you to get you beyond the point of being scared? How willing are you to challenge Henry David Thoreau's assertion that the 'mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to their graves with their song still in them?"


So what's a little 'scared'? It's a good thing, actually. It renders you vulnerable, humble, dependent on expert advice and most importantly, teachable. It makes you aware of the mistakes you make along the way and therefore provides a host of what-not-to-dos next time round. Mistakes, they say are better teachers than successes. It's wisdom you can pass down, paying it forward as you progress in your business, building strong networks of partners and team members. So embrace the fear. Know that it comes with the territory. Just do it again, and again, and again....Do it scared that's how you get there,

So today, challenge yourself to identify that one thing that you are scared of that's likely to have the biggest impact on your dream. Now juxtapose that fear against your biggest WHY...What's your most important reason for wanting to pursue your dream? How do they stack up against each other? Do you find your 'why' more compelling than your fear? Does your 'why' not push you beyond those boundaries? If it does, you're in a good place. Feel the fear and do it anyway.....

Learning how to Measure Value

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Recently I stopped to compile a list of likely little known quotes about how to create value in the home and at work. These reflect the thoughts of entrepreneurs, inventors, authors and politicians. At first glance they appear trivial but but they unwittingly hold a wealth of wisdom. Take some time to give each some thought:

1. "We must teach our children not to spend their money a dollar at a time. If you spend your money a dollar at a time, you'll wind up with trinkets not treasures. You can't buy much of value a dollar at a time."
2. "When you do more than you are paid to do, you'll be paid more for what you do."
3. "You are not here merely to make a living. You are here in order to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world, and you impoverish yourself if you forget your errand."
4. "Profits are better than wages."
5. "We must seek the opportunity inherent in the risk, knowing that we must sometimes run the risk of going too far in order to discover how far we really can go."
6. "The highest reward of a man's toil is not what he gets for it, but what he becomes by it."
7. "It's best to start the discipline of generosity when the amounts are small. It is easy to give ten cents out of a dollar; it's a little harder to give a hundred thousand out of a million dollars." 
8. "Being grateful for what you already have creates magical pathways to infinite possibilities 
9. "The greatest good you can do for another is not just to reveal to him your riches but to reveal to him his own."
10. "Many of the things you can count, don't count; many of the things you can't count, really count."
11. "The borrower is servant to the lender."
12. "What you become directly influences what you get."
13. "We get paid for bringing value to the marketplace. It takes time.....but we get paid for the value, not the time."
14. "Formal education will make you a living. Self education will make you a fortune"
15. "The rich invest their money and spend what's left. The poor spend their money and invest what's left."
16. "Here's the major problem with going on strike for more money: You cannot get rich by demand." 
17. "Time is more valuable than money. You can get more money; you cannot get more time."
18. "The greatest reward in becoming a millionaire is not the million dollars. It's the person you must become in order to be able to earn that million dollars."
19. "Poor people have a big TV; rich people have a big library.
20. "Money is usually attracted, not pursued."

Are there others that you have come across and would like to add?