I love Words...

I find I am fascinated by words.  By what is said, by the way they are said, by the way they make you think and feel, by the the way certain combinations resonate and leave impressions on your soul that nothing else has the power to. Whoever said 'a picture is worth a thousand words' never really understood the potency of words. Have you ever wondered, for example, why the book is always better than the movie? I love words like some people love music. For me, music is simply poetry in motion; the cinema or theatre a chance for words to take center-stage, right where they belong.  Maybe that's why I have always hated small talk. It's a tragic waste of words.

And some people have a way with them. They know how to make words dance across a page, to create a symphony of sounds, to bring to bear the creativity of the imagination. To motivate. To inspire. Words have longevity. They stand the test of time. Things said eons ago remain in the back of our minds, securely stored in the crevices of our hearts becoming the driving force of our lives, the source of our power, the purpose of our existence. Words uttered by obscure human beings, once in the darkness of oblivion, have propelled them to the forefront of movements today that are larger than the lives they ever dared to imagine for themselves. I think often of the words of Abraham Lincoln's mother as she is said to have uttered on her death bed..."Be somebody, Abe. Be somebody." One life so inspired, went on to inspire a nation. Oh, the power of words to inspire, to regenerate, to create.

Today we have millions of words bundled into quotable quotes that continue to inspire millions of people to action. Martin Luther King's "I have a dream" speech brings into sharp focus the plausibility and possibility of a mere trifling notion. Philosophies expressed thousands of years ago by men of varying literary abilities still cause us to reflect deeply upon the issues of life, to pause to ponder the substantive, to consider their life-changing and life-giving nature. Fortunately for us, words never got in the way of these men saying what needed to be said.

 But think not for a moment that I contemplate the matter of the power of words merely as a one-sided affair. For whether we accept this as truth or not, in the same way that words have the power to create and re-create they have the power to demotivate, to hurt, to destroy to kill. Many a dream has died at the tip of a naysayer's tongue. Many relationships have ended because of words laid carelessly on the altar of unrequited love. Recognizing, therefore, the power of words to inspire or demotivate, to create or kill, I choose life. I choose everyday, deliberately, to read words that are life-giving, to listen to words that inspire me to greatness....to aspire, to learn to speak words that have the power to call out the best in others and inspire those in my sphere of influence to speak and write and live like the existence and prosperity of future generations depend on it. I choose life!    

It's not the harvest, but the seeds that matter...

In our quest for personal growth it is easy to become distracted and discouraged when we look back over the years and try to trace our results. Unkept resolutions, unmet targets, unfulfilled goals can have a daunting effect on your desire to keep making the effort. Failures, of whatever magnitude, overtake the psyche and manifest in a reduced estimate of our value. The fact is, the reason we work so hard is so that we can generate the results we seek - family vacations, a new home, a larger customer base or greater market share. Nothing motivates us more than what we'll get at the end of process. We envisage, we engage, we produce for the sole purpose of reaping the harvest that comes at the end of our labours. But the harsh reality is that nobody guarantees us the results we look for.

Oh don't get me wrong....the old adage "as a man sows, so shall he reap" still holds true. No-one would readily deny that that the quality of our harvest is directly linked to the quality and quanitiy of the seed. And to take it even further, life has taught me that indeed very often we reap more than we sow......be that good or evil. No doubt, we "sow to the wind and reap a whirlwind." But there are times when the seeds we sow fall by the way-side or on fallow ground; You may plant and neglect to tend........ There's no telling just how many ways the harvest can be affected. It's a truth we must all prepare for and learn to live with.

And so, though I have come to realize that the results I produce are crucial to my material and emotional well-being, I have also learned that though we may work to change the seed, the soil and the sower (ourselves) to improve our chances of success, there are many times when the results we seek are outside of our control. And in those instances I resort to the wisdom of the nineteenth century author and poet, Robert, Louis Stephenson, "Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds you plant." Talk about saving me some anxiety!! What better formula is there for taking life's anxieties down a notch and being gentle with yourself?

And so, for me,  each day now now is not so much about taking inventory of the harvest. It's not so much about the things I gained.....how many points I scored, how many targets met or goals achieved. These days it's much more about the seeds I planted....the relationships I invested in, the effort I made to ignite hope in someone else's heart, the faith I engendered in a dispairing friend, the money I saved or gave away....Yes, it may seem counter-intuitive (aren't most of life's deepest truths, anyway?), but you will find that the best measure of your day's productivity is not the size of the harvest but the seeds you sow. Remember, the harvest is not guaranteed. It behooves us, therefore, to focus our attention on the seed - its quality, the way we scatter them and the timing of our planting.

"Purchase Bewilderment"

In this age of extreme self-awareness and conscientious living – when people are striving to be intentional about their decisions and actions, there is a curious lack of a pulse, a disconcerting absence of a sense of wonder that leads me to ponder the words of the poet Rumi, “sell your cleverness and purchase bewilderment.” Sage advice if you ask me, but one hardly likely to be taken seriously in this so-called era of enlightenment.

As a people we have taught ourselves to see yet not feel, to look yet not discern. It’s been all head and very little heart. Who knows, maybe that’s a strategy that serves its purpose well. I believe it insulates us. The busy-ness, the sleeplessness, the rush to achieve has caused us not to be awed by the beauty all around and to not take hold of the sense of wonder that is so available to us.

But were we to sell our cleverness and purchase bewilderment, how awed we would be by our babies’ first steps, the innocence of childhood, the eloquence in silence, the miraculous mundane,  the potent words of a song that speak hope to our souls. How awed might we be by the light of someone else’s wisdom; how connected we could feel to humanity. We have chosen instead a cloak of cleverness and enlightenment, unwilling to be exposed to the vulnerability of ignorance or dependence. We have become adept at building walls of control and power. “I’ve got this” is the natural consequence of our ‘can do’ attitude.

But beauty and awe, wonder and bewilderment are all around us. It is the joy of family chatter around the dinner table; it’s the feel of your own heart, with hand pressed firmly against your chest. It is the tear that you allow yourself to shed as you learn to let life in; it’s the doting of your little girl. It’s insight. It’s emotional intelligence.

So much has been lost on us because of our lack of this sense of wonder. To our own detriment, we have called everything common. From this point on, why not let’s get deliberate about purchasing bewilderment? Let’s practice to feel even as we see. As we acquire knowledge, let’s seek understanding too.  Let’s apply a keen sense of discernment, let’s 'take a trip inside our minds to find wonders we can't define,' let's pursue, at risk of losing the facade of our emotional security, life's all important “ah-ha moments”. It'll be well worth it.

What do I do in the meantime?

This is a question I find I have been turning over and over in my mind in recent times. The period of waiting – that time between where you are now and where want to be- can be hard. Whether it be a long-term life improvement process or short-term waiting for a change in our circumstances, it’s no different. Be it the empty womb of a woman waiting through years of barrenness and harsh seasons of emotional drought, an ill-at-ease mom sitting in the waiting room of a hospital theatre, or simply an unemployed person yearning for the words ‘you’ve got the job’ the period of waiting can be lonely and desperate. Yes, that ‘in the meantime’ has the power to make or break you.

Yet it is at this time that we have to most vigilantly guard our attitudes. Worry and anxiety have a way of deteriorating into self-pity and bitterness. The very potent nature of our concerns, the immediacy of our needs will tend, if we are not careful, toward us becoming victims of our circumstance. Resentment, anger and envy very often attend this period, as time unbearably appears to stretch into eternity. It is a time when we must ensure that our vision of the future is so clear that we are able to borrow from its inspiration. The more clearly we are able to see the future and sense its promise, the more likely we are to overcome the challenge of the ‘meantime’.

Attitude is everything. Whether we are aware of it or not, our attitudes eventually determine the extent of the vision that is actually realized. And the fact is, that no-one can control our attitudes except us. We get to decide what happens on the other side of the ‘meantime.’ We have the choice of coming through unscathed or, on the other hand, falling prey to the dangers of a volatile attitude.

But how do we guard against those feelings and actions that have the potential to drag us down the wrong path? While we wait, we must learn to pull on the positive personal philosophies that have kept us grounded in the past. We must get deliberate about reminding ourselves of what is good and right in the present moment. We must teach ourselves to ‘think summer all winter;’ we teach ourselves to be grateful in all things; we "lift our eyes unto the hills from whence cometh our help"; we remind ourselves that ‘This, too, shall pass;” we make conscientious effort to create change…doing all that is in our power to do....and then we extend our faith beyond ourselves.... and trust, knowing that we will get safely to the other side.

Savor the Things that Are

"Live your life each day

 as you would climb a mountain.

An occasional glance towards the summit

 keeps the goal in mind,

But many beautiful scenes are to be observed

 from each new vantage point."

                                [Harold B. Melchart]

Sometimes we allow ourselves to become so weighed down with the things that 'are not' that we very often lose sight of the things that 'are.' We conjure up images of wellness or happiness and refuse to allow that any other interpretation, anything other than our 'perfect' picture is acceptable. We know exactly the paths our lives should take, and what our final destination should look like. And what do these notions translate to in everyday life? Us being thrown into a tizzy when our children exhibit less than the standards of behaviour we expect of them; getting angry because our husbands don't ever do the dishes while forgetting he's numbered among the ones that faithfully provide for his household; our complaining about his bulging stomach and neglecting to be thankful for his faithful heart.

Oh how easy it is to lose sight of that which is right and good and perfect in our lives because we are in pursuit of some goal that our egos created. Of course, it's important to set and achieve goals. I live by them. But how far more important it is for us to learn to stop along the path and celebrate what is...not allowing ourselves to become so enamored by what is possible that we neglect to see, to enjoy, to simply savor the blessings of the things that are......now, this moment, today. The truth is, our desire for a 'better state' can become so all-consuming that it blinds us to the current good. It creates in us a constant feeling of lack, of incompleteness, of inadequacy... 

How I wish I could properly articulate, underscore or explain the dangers of espousing feelings of lack. Yes, I know it seems a crazy proposition in light of all the things you dream of, and worse…all the things you need. To be sure, I’m not suggesting that we hide from our realities. A keen awareness of those realities will be instrumental in helping us get to the place we want to be. Still, we must get to the place where we understand the absolute necessity of learning to be happy in our discontentment….of knowing that we ARE enough, that what we HAVE is enough…right now, right in this moment…learning to be complete here, while we work on getting there.

And that learning to feel complete, to be happily discontented is about knowing and appreciating the realities of abundance and Providence; about embracing gratitude and beauty, and letting go of the way we think it should be. It comes down to not allowing our longing for something better to crowd out today’s beauty…to be able to relish the perfection of this moment….to enjoy the crystal glory of rain-drops on a petal, the pitter-patter of little feet in our homes, the frolic of our children’s play….the magic of a kiss…..There is beauty in every circumstance. There are lessons in every experience. On your climb to the summit, when your steps seem to go off course, stay a while and whisper….’all is as it should it’….be grateful for what is….. 

"Sweet are the Uses of Adversity"

Today as I am surrounded by a deep sense of 'aloneness', in this moment of solemn contemplations, when I’m forced to question friendships, and when my mustard seed-sized faith gets lost in the dust of my travails, I reach deep down into the recesses of my being and I emerge thankful…ever so thankful that for every time that life has forced me into this place, I have come up better, stronger, wiser.  

Duke Senior (a seventeenth century Shakespearean character from the play “As you like it”) deposed of his kingdom, stripped not only of his title, but more so his dignity…ashamed and nearly bereft of companionship in the Forest of Arden, whispered these words to his audience of nature…. “Sweet are the uses of adversity.”  In typical Shakespearean wisdom the former duke launches into the lessons that only stillness and solitude can teach.…in the stillness of the moment he concludes that nature is more eloquent than speeches, brooks teach far more than books and stones hit deeper than sermons. In the serenity he listens…and he hears, maybe for the first time the vibe of his own heart…he listens and he hears, in those adverse circumstances, the voice of God…and finally he comes  face to face with the life’s most substantive matters.

Now without a doubt, the conclusion drawn by Duke Senior is one we all come to at some point in our experience. As we mature and look back at our ‘valley of despondency’ experiences, we very often find ourselves thinking “I wouldn’t be where I am today, had I not gone through that.” So yes, inevitably we get wiser after we’ve been through it. But what struck me as instructive about Shakespeare’s unlikely hero is the fact that his utterance is made at what was probably the lowest point in his life…in the moment!  For someone so accustomed to pomp and ceremony, so used to the hum of activity, likely having heard declarations of life-long friendships and loyalty…now deposed, defamed and almost friendless, his ability to draw the lessons in the moment is something not to be overlooked – a lesson we all would do well to learn. 

How many of us have learned to embrace the value of adversity while the storms are howling? Too often we are too busy being unhappy, too wrapped up in self-pity, too unwilling to forgive, too reluctant to let go, to ever discover the sweet uses of adversity. We envelope ourselves in worry and fear, we make despair our bedfellow when all the time we are called to be still…to wait, to extend faith beyond the realm of what is humanly possible, to study in quietude the benefits of our current experience.  So today as I reach into the recesses of my being, and as I emerge my mind is inundated with the reminder that ‘sweet are the uses of adversity’…and in typical intentional fashion, I pull out my journal, and I question “what is good about this my time of aloneness and despair?”…and I write… and a deep sense of peace envelopes me ...…..and once again my heart is content.

What do you add to the Room?

I recently heard some-one ask the very poignant question, 'what do you add to the room? That is, 'what value do you bring? It's a question we hear all the time in different ways: "What do you bring to to the table?" True, it's an old question... one that we are probably more prepared to answer in a career kind of environment. The fact is, we are mostly pretty clear on what we can add in a work-place. We rehearse it for every job interview...now whether we are actually able to add the value we claim we can....that's another story altogether.But have you given thought to the value you add outside of the work-world?

The point is we need to be crystal clear about what we bring to the various areas/elements of our lives. What do I bring to my relationships? How do I enhance my partner? How do I enrich my children's lives? What lessons do I impart? What character traits am I reinforcing or influencing? What is my distinctive contribution to their sense of worth, their sense of usefulness and effectiveness? And if you are not big on relationships....( though I'm not sure why you wouldn't be), you would do well to answer your employer's implicit questions about your value proposition. In the same way that the world around us changes, employers' needs frequently change and they want to be assured of the dynamism of employees' value proposition. How might you be able to clearly answer these questions if you are not at least aware of them yourself? What do I know? What do I impart? What is my competitive advantage? Are you able to answer these questions right here, right now?


The truth is these are not questions that we answer once and for all. Remaining relevant and contributing in meaningfully to the lives of others, to strong causes requires constant recalibration, renewal of our offerings. In Jamaican parlance 'yuh haffi know how fi wheel an' come again." That's a fact. But long before we get there, and with every life change or new involvement, we have to be fully aware, fully in the know as to what we have to offer. We have to know ourselves so well as to understand our worth in any given situation. We need to be sure, confident of the difference we can make and further to be able to convincingly articulate that value to whomever the potential buyer is.

But it takes deliberate effort, intentionality. Nope, it's not gonna happen by osmosis. It may mean making a list of all our 'customers', stakeholders', or other interest groups and outlining all  the qualities we have that can potentially enhance these relationships/interactions. And even before we get there, we may have to work to acquire these skills, behaviours, competencies. And more than anything, we need to understand the importance of adding value. It must strike a chord in our being. 

And when you are there....when you get to the place where you understand your value at any given moment, in any given situation.....savour it. Drink it in. Let it touch you in ways as to build your confidence, win you worthwhile associates, take you out of oblivion and prepare you to pour that value out on the world....There's nothing quite like it!