Fighting feelings of Inadequacy

One of the biggest struggles I have faced over the course of my life is a constant and consistent feeling of inadequacy. There are but few times in my life that I have ever felt equal to a task, right for a job, good enough to make the grade, or the best prospect for a potential engagement. Imagine then, the dissonance, the pressure, the discontent, the powder-keg in  my heart and mind when those feelings of inadequacy were juxtaposed against that burning desire in me to 'be somebody'. The result? Anger, frustration...jealousy even.
Now, don't get me wrong, this desire to be somebody was not a fickle (as I see it) desire for fame....I'm talking about a desire to answer my calling, to pursue my passions, to use the gifts with which I have been endowed.

Noble desire if you ask me....but one I couldn't find how to fulfill, one (if I am to be totally honest) I still struggle with. For how was I to find my way out of this bottle-neck of inadequacy?  How was I to push beyond these feelings to find my real worth? And what makes it worse is that, more often than not, these feelings do not confine themselves to one area of your life. They may manifest in your career such that it takes you longer than desired to finish a project, a task, an assignment. My propensity to procrastinate, I have found, is more appropriately addressed not as a cause, but an effect......an effect, and a symptom of my feelings of inadequacy. But they also manifest in our relationships making us feel not pretty enough or  unworthy of the love and affection being directed at us, and consequently our insecurities threaten or de-stabilize our relationships. Our inattention to our health or our appearance may all be a reflection of these feelings of not being enough.....not good enough, not pretty enough, not bright enough.

Mind games! I had often heard it said how crucial our thoughts are to our feelings, and how important our philosophies are to creating those feelings in the first place but I hadn't paid attention. Til now.  The point is, every one of us has the ability and the opportunity to create the world in which we exist by taking control of the things we believe, not just of the world around us, but that which we believe about ourselves. Everyday we have the opportunity to become intentional about what we feed our spirit, our minds. Overcoming feelings of inadequacy requires us developing a correct estimate of our abilities, taking stock of our talents, measuring where we are today in relation to where we want to be and finding ways to fill those gaps. Deliberate design.

The Christian theologian, St. Augustine of Hippo, is known to have said, "People travel to wonder at the height of mountains, at the huge wave of the sea, at the long courses of rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motion of the stars, and they pass by themselves without wondering."  Deep. But the average person finds little about himself with which to be awed. And this has nothing to do with an ego trip. We are of infinite worth, but our value to others will always only be based on the estimate we place on ourselves. People believe what we tell them about ourselves and if we continue to allow our feelings of inadequacy to define us, that's the message we send. Its time to re-define yourself. It's hasn't been easy, but I have taken the bold step. I trust you will too!

Every day Counts

Benjamin Franklin it was who, more than two centuries ago,  said, "Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time for that's the stuff life is made of." Strong point. One that doesn't really leave much room for argument. And isn't it easy, especially for the more conscientious among us, to walk away thinking that those words bring no burden of guilt upon us, for we certainly do not squander time. The word squander after all, bears connotations of a wanton waste of the commodity we have so learnt to value. But there-in lies the problem. For it is but a  few among us who have come to realize that it's the everyday matters that accumulate.

 So few among us have come to the place where we realize that today, today's every choice rolls up into tomorrow, and tomorrow tells for who we become, and where we end up along life's journey. So you may not be big party goers, you may not spend much time with the hip crowd, but still, what did your today look  like in the big scheme of things? In the words of Robert Lewis Stephenson, let me remind you that each day is better judged 'not by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant." The point is, every action (or inaction) today plants a seed. So, as it relates to your health, career, spiritual or financial goals, how would you rate the quality of the seeds you planted today?

Whether you are aware of it or not, in pursuit of your big goals, every single day counts. For our 'big, hairy, audacious' goals are the sum of everyday simple, seemingly insignificant choices. It is easy for us to pass each day without making  a deliberate decision as to whether it will send us further into oblivion or whether it brings us closer to the achievement of our goals. It is easy for us to wake up and go to bed at close of day without adding one iota to our stock of value, however we reckon that value. And that happens very often without notice. Insidiously. And one day turns into two, then three, four...weeks, months and our lives are lived without positive influence or impact, and the light we were created to bring with uniqueness into our world never gets lit.

Your deliberate decision may be as simple as creating a daily do-to list that is aligned to your long term goals or it may be as complex as developing and implementing a personal strategic plan. The choice is yours. What's important is that you craft a strategy for spending each day doing something that brings you closer to realizing your full potential and actualizing your dreams. Yes, it's your life, but never forget ....everyday matters add up and make every day count towards your better future.