"We are what we repeatedly do.
Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." So said the great
philosopher Aristotle...and who am I to try to discount or discredit this sage
of a man? But something a colleague of mine said in conversation recently got
me thinking. "Never confuse who you are with what you do."
Contradictory maybe but for me it was quite disarming. The fact is that, the
things we repeatedly do, very often are determined by our circumstance,
mandated by our superiors, expected by our peers or recommended by our
'role models.'
But what
recently cemented the sentiment in my head was a conversation I had with a
former class-mate of mine. We were attending a reunion of sorts and as we
chatted I questioned his reserved, withdrawn attitude to the other attendees.
Remembering how persistently rambunctious and outgoing he had been throughout
our high school years, it was strange to see him assume this new demeanour.
What he said to me was instructive..."Over the years, I have come to
learn that I am an introvert. What you saw during those years was simply a
herculean effort to fit in, to do what I thought would make be accepted.
These days I am comfortable with who I am....a guy who would rather be by
himself most days of the week." Telling....but what's important is that
not only had I and everybody else believed what his actions told us he was, but
he had believed it too. Lucky for him, in time, he found his authentic self and
became comfortable with who he really is.
So......who
are you, really? If you really are this girl who is comfortable behind the
scenes, away from the limelight, then how do you explain this almost
subconscious longing to be seen and heard? If you really are an introvert, why
do you have this persistent, latent desire for a sense of belonging and
companionship? The truth is that many times the values we hold to are
those that are imposed upon us, those that we have been told are more virtuous,
those that make us feel superior, those that make the people around us happy.
But what makes you happy? What ideas, values are all your own? To what drum
does your heart respond? What will it take to make you pull the plug on wanting
to please others?
The fact is,
finding our true self is always the starting point of any journey to
significance, any effort at living intentionally. Learning to live on purpose
is about being honest with ourselves, walking away from everything that does
not bring us into alignment with our reason for being....learning to shed the
burden of other people's expectations and with every decision to be made,
constantly asking ourselves "Is this who I am?" If the answer to that
question brings dissonance and misalignment...then no....this isn't who you
are. For who you are is always and only a synchronization with your higher
purpose. Here's to finding your true self!
