What's Your Excuse?

What if I told you that starting this blog had nothing at all to do with an ability to write well? Yeah, I know I liked to put my feelings on paper and that I often enjoyed the way it turned out, but  I knew I didn't have what it takes to make waves. I just knew I was learning things I wanted to share and that I was/am too much of an introvert to do much more than archive these thoughts after I put them on paper. But I wanted to do it anyway. Sometimes we are pulled by forces greater than we have the wits to explain....paradoxically, sometimes we find that we are reluctant followers of the dreams that chase us. We, helplessly, follow blindly on.

You know your dreams and deep desires are bigger than you when they wake you up in the middle of the night, when you feel pregnant with an idea you are ready to birth, when anticipation brings you more joy than anything you've ever experienced, when your desire to create change exceeds your desire to 'be somebody'; when you find that you are no longer willing to allow yourself  an excuse for not showing up; but instead, like Erma Bombeck you find yourself saying, "When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would have not one single bit of talent left and could say, I used everything you gave me."  That's when you know you are living on purpose. That's when your 'why' makes your 'how' and 'what' inconsequential.

The point is, when you are pulled by your dream, you don't allow yourself to be constrained by a lack of know-how; neither are you concerned initially by how your efforts will manifest themselves. You don't wait for perfect external conditions. You take incremental steps toward impacting others, developing your talents along the way. You find a way to use every bit of your talents, you get creative: as we say in Jamaica 'yuh tun yuh hand mek fashin' (you fashion something with bare hands if you need to). 'Imperfect'  is good enough soil for planting the seeds of your vision.

So what's your excuse? What constrains you? What prevents you from answering what you know is a  calling upon your life? What stands in the way of your filling that space in the universe that you were created to fill....that you alone can fill?  It's time to harness the abilities and resources (however small you think they are) with which you have been gifted. It's time to give birth to the child of your dreams. The universe awaits!

Here's to New Beginnings

What is it about the approach of a new year that makes us all so contemplative and reflective? Why do we pull back and take a deep and searching look at the accomplishment side of our life's ledger to see how we performed against the goals we (well, some of us) set ourselves? Of a truth, the threshold of a year is, for many, a palpable reminder of our expendable, fragile existence. It calls us into accountability mode; it evokes a sense of humility and gratitude. For others, it's a time of revelry and celebration.

 Either way, a new year largely represents fresh opportunity - a chance to wipe our slates clean and to begin again. Whether consciously or unconsciously, we tend to see it as a new chapter in the story of our lives. We take stock, we make resolutions; we hope for, and more importantly, plan for a better life from this this time forth.

In reality though, a better life never simply comes on the heels of a new year. It's the reason resolutions often don't get beyond January. Change never happens simply because we wish or dream it into being. Plans and dreams are merely a demonstration of who we wish to be. We are what we do - the habits we've created over a lifetime; the actions we have taken. It is a fact, none of us can guarantee the results of actions but one thing is for sure - inaction guarantees our stagnation.

So what will it be? How will you move forward in 2018? Here's one thing you can do: Make a list of the things you want more of in 2018. These can be both tangible and intangible items. (The first thing on my list is sleep...yes, sleep). In making this initial list, be divergent in your thinking. Anything is fine at this stage. Next, take some time to refine this list. Make your ideas converge around the dreams that mean the most to you. For greatest success here, be a minimalist. Too many things to attempt often lead to discouragement in the long run. Why not try to work on one item for 40 days - they say it takes 40 consecutive days of activity to create a habit. Then make it cumulative if you want to - add each accomplishment to the next 40 days of activity. When you come to take stock at the end of 2018, you'll be amazed at the person you've become.

So, go ahead. Challenge yourself. Take the actions required to take you to the next level. You are the captain of your own ship. In every moment of decision, you determine your destiny. 2018 is entirely up to you.

What You Focus on Grows!

Lately I've been giving a lot of attention to the power of thoughts. "As a man thinketh, so is he," so they say. But how much control do we really have over our thoughts...and if our thoughts are often dark and negative, what does that mean for who we are? Worse, what does it say about who we can become? Does the reality of our 'less than pure' thoughts confine us to a less than desirable life experience? It's something I have often pondered. And if there is any possibility for change, how do we even control our thoughts so as to direct them into paths we want to follow? Does it now mean a constant, mindful re-direction of these thoughts? Sounds exasperating doesn't it?

The very thought of it is intimidating, to say the least. But I have found that this seemingly herculean task  need not be tackled in this fashion. A more productive and fruitful endeavor would be to seek, instead, to try to control the things we give attention to, the things we focus on. Obviously, it is almost impossible to control the thoughts that come knocking at our mind's door, but it is certain that we
 can control what you let it and how long you entertain them. What we focus on grows. I'm pretty certain you've heard that said, and it's true. We give energy, life even, the things we focus on - be they good or evil. It goes without saying, therefore, that we ought to be very careful about the things we give attention to.

The connections between our mental, physical, emotional and spiritual states of being is a whole discussion point in and of itself - one I will not delve into here. Suffice it to say our focused thoughts have the ability to command our physical, emotional and spiritual energies and, as such, our entire state of being. "Be careful what you ask for" indeed. Very careful. Calculated, in fact! We ought to be  strategic in our approach to deciding what grows in our minds and consequently in our lives....what do you want more of? Make a list. What will it take to bring it into being? (Be very clear....thinking about it is not enough; we must ACT to bring it into being...but yes, focused thinking is where it begins). When we focus on the things we are passionate about, the things that serve us well, the things that create happiness and joy in our mental space, we are energized to create the conditions for positive change.

So today, let's commit to focusing our thoughts on the things we want to create in our own lives. Let's give attention to the person we wish to become, the conditions we wish to create, the story we want to tell about our journey. It starts with a vision. "The more clearly we are able to see the vision of the future, the more we are able to borrow from its inspiration." The clearer the vision, the easier it is to develop goals, the achievement of which you give your focus to. Let's give deliberate attention to controlling our focus. It's the best proxy to controlling your thoughts that I know. 

Push past the Obstacles....

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It's been a while and I am still struggling to write another blog article. I am uncertain as to why. It's not for a lack of desire, not for lack of trying - I have been at this computer on countless occasions wanting to - doing my best to - come up with something....anything that could pass as a reward for my effort. Still here I am - blank. But I am a woman on a mission - one with a determination to find some outlet for this need to 'put pen to paper' so even when I haven't figured out how to get beyond this stagnation, I am going to do it anyway.

So here I am...writing like I would in my journal. Just opening up. Not sure these words will see the light of day; not even sure that they represent cogent thought but I must, in this moment, carry out the tasks that I believe are set before me, whether I feel capable, prepared, useful or not. I find when I don't think too hard, when I forget about the audience, when I do it for the love of it, when my deepest motivation is the substantive reason of fulfilling my purpose...it gets done - in spite of....

And in this moment, right now, it is enough that I make the effort; it is enough that I push past this feeling and celebrate the tangible, though imperfect results of my effort. In this moment I am grateful for a greater motivation than accolades and praise. In this moment, I am ecstatic to be grounded deeply in the fertile soil of personal development - that which teaches me to reach beyond self into the realm of service - the recognition that there is always some-one who can benefit from your gifts - even if they are imperfect in the moment.

So there it is...I have finally written my four paragraphs - about nothing in particular; simply, instead, getting beyond the need to satisfy the constraints of ego. I can only, now trust, that should I be courageous enough to publish this article (about nothing in particular) that some-one will be encouraged to push past the feeling of stagnation....to not wait until conditions are perfect, to not wait until your talents are fully developed, to not be constrained by poor conditions; more importantly, to not be confined by pride or ego.....but to do it in spite of....let nothing get in the way of the bigger picture. Push ahead to your larger purpose!

Talent Is Over-Rated...(so are Knowledge and Potential)

I think talent is over-rated. I honestly do. I've found that it's not the people with talent who are hugely successful. Instead, it is those who are willing to do what it takes to get to the goal-post, the ones who scale the hurdles, the ones who are willing to take the big risks, to invest time and effort who eventually get 'the big break.' Now, many times talent and effort meet somewhere along the way...and all the better. The results are even more phenomenal.

 If truth be told, everybody has potential. There's a song we often sang in our childhood days....."I am a promise, I am a possibility....I am a great big bundle of po-ten-ti-al-ity." So true. We are all are. The sad news is that too many remain just that....potential. What is possible. What might be....and then, somewhere, some years, down the road we are merely unutilized potential - what might have been! Sad. The fact is, potential is merely an indicator of what we are capable of. It gives us a clue as to the paths we may successfully negotiate on our way to being purposefully engaged. Neither potential or talent guarantee success.

Sooner or later talent and potential must be converted into activity. What we are capable of and what we actually achieve may not always end up being the same things. Unless we put potential to work, we are likely to find our selves making excuses and little if any progress at all. Have you ever found yourself sitting in a classroom, reading a book or listening to a podcast and telling yourself 'I already know that'? That's good..(I guess)...but what have you DONE about it? Knowledge is never an end in itself. It too, needs to be converted to activity. You must be motivated enough to DO. Beyond, knowledge, talent or potential, it is those only who ACT upon these endowments who manage to eke out the rewards they seek, and more even.

But to be effective, activity needs be planned, intelligent, and consistent. It requires a recognition that talent, potential and knowledge are just half the game...(yep, the math is correct)...the other half requires real effort; real action. It requires a recognition that the rewards we seek are commensurate with the measure of planned, intelligent and consistent effort. Believe me, talent is over-rated (and so are knowledge and potential). The real deal is ACTION. We either get in the game or watch life pass us by.

Perfect is the Enemy of Good

"Perfect is the enemy of good," they say. So, in order that my inclination to perfectionism doesn't prevent me from attempting the everyday-awesome tasks that are set before me, I close my eyes and ears to the obvious lack of flair, the 'ordinary-ness' of the attempts and press ahead - despite the gnawing feeling of under-performance that often accompanies them. That's how it is with me and my writing.

For as long as I can remember, I have loved putting pen to paper (these days, key-board to paper....or whatever it is..) and writing my feelings down. I have loved out-maneuvering and out-arguing my opponents..... on paper....yep, here's where I have won most of my battles. It's been my weapon (maybe unfortunately, I don't know), it's been my hiding place, my happy place, my sounding board, the dumping place for my thoughts, the place of my deepest revelations, where I lay bare my soul...through the mirror of thoughts....where I get in touch with the parts of me that were before then, to me, a stranger.

My most valuable childhood memory is (unbelievably...boringly) that of an article that I wrote which was published in a magazine for children. I was seven years old and proud! The memory hasn't left, though many others have. I know, then, that I am supposed to do something with this...this talent?...this interest, this passion, even. But what do you do when there is a constant call to perfectionism? When something inside you tells you that your efforts are not good enough? When you look around you and there are so many other seemingly superior players in the field? Do you walk away? Do you call it quits? Do you accept that your efforts are not good enough? Do you wait til you've mastered your craft? Or do you do it anyway?

Luckily for me, my love affair with writing pushes me ahead.....in spite of. I couldn't stop even if I wanted to. It's true, this need for perfection could probably cause me to keep my thoughts locked in the sometimes-dark closet of my mind, but luckily a 'higher purpose' makes me want to do more than pander to my ego. And so, whether I have the requisite flair, or whether I lack content, and whether I am able to hold the interest of the 'deeply intellectual,' I do it anyway. I seek not to be perfect.  I seek, instead, to satisfy my calling to inspire and equip. I remind myself that perfect is indeed the enemy of good and I do it anyway.

A Tomorrow Worth Waking Up For...

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There are times in our experiences when we allow ourselves to get so caught up in the ebb and flow of life that we forget the sounds of our own heartbeat. We forget what's really important to us...the things that give life meaning, that which makes life fulfilling .... - as they say...so busy making a living that we forget to make a life.

I find that this happens most when we spend our todays 'working for a better tomorrow'....so focused on the better life we expect to have in the years to come that we miss the blessings of today. We look with hope to the days when we will earn a better income, live in a bigger house, not realising that the house we expend all our time and resources to acquire  robs us of the home we could very well be building today.

Now, don't get me wrong....aspiring for a better tomorrow is a necessary occupation - one that keeps us appropriately focused on our goals. The trouble is, not many of us have learnt how to be 'happily discontented'; we haven't taught ourselves how to be grateful in our current situation no matter how dismal it all seems.

Learning to find beauty in the common affairs of life- in our imperfect relationships, our once-white picket fences, our worm-infested flower gardens - is a sure fire way of engaging with life in such a way as to guarantee the future success we crave. We must come to see that our aspirations for the future, and living a life of happiness, contentment and fulfillment, in the present, are not mutually exclusive. We can have them both....finding meaning ans drawing fulfillment in our lives today,  as we confidently work towards the goals that make our tomorrows worth waking up for!

What am I BECOMING?

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Much has been penned about the important questions we must ask ourselves in life. If you have a tendency toward introversion and introspection, like I do, I am sure you would have asked yourself millions of 'important' questions by now....questions, the answers to which sometimes leave you feeling inadequate, under-accomplished or lacking in some other way...questions such as 'what is my life's purpose?' or 'what has been my contribution to the planet?' Deep searching questions that cause us to feel far from equal to the tasks we set ourselves.

Undoubtedly, these musings arise from our own ambitions and ideals, and if we aren't careful, can possibly lead to discouragement. However, I have come to realize that in the same way that audacious goals are realized one conscious decision at a time, deep and piercing questions can be answered one small lesson at a time, one minuscule, intentional action at a time.

But at the end of the day, the important measures of assessment aren't the answers to the deep philosophical questions of purpose or those of apparently less import - those questions of "What am I earning, what am I achieving, what have I accomplished, or what did I get?" The most important question, I have found, is one that is answered with each daily decision. It is simply 'what am I becoming?' How are my current associates and relationships influencing who I am becoming? What is my career making of me?  How are my current pursuits changing me? When I lay in bed at night and reflect on the day that slipped by, do I like the person I see reflected in my thoughts?  Am I  at peace with who I become day by day?

Many things influence and impact our lives everyday. Some we are able to control, others we aren't. Fortunately, our 'becoming' is one of those things over which we have total control. The words of  holocaust survivor, Viktor Frankl, ring true: "Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way." That, my friends, is the essence of BECOMING - the opportunity and right to choose to be better than we were before, in spite of our circumstances....still, for me, the noblest of our human obligations!

Something bigger than Ourselves

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"A man's worth is no greater than his ambitions." Uttered hundreds of years ago by the Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius, I find these words telling. It is our ambitions that stretch us..... or the lack thereof that confines us - more often than we want to admit to ourselves, if we are honest.. Even a cursory, superficial consideration of these words helps us understand how much  control we ultimately have over who we become. But much as these words stir a chord within me,  I have found that there is a much nobler place to which I aspire to belong. The words of Jim Rohn hold greater sway - "We all need to belong to something bigger than ourselves." Yes, indeed we all need to have ambitions that get us beyond ourselves into making contributions that make a difference in the world around us.

It was Zig Ziglar who said "We can have everything we want in life if you just help enough other people get what they want." Significance is a state of being that all of us as human beings crave. We all want to feel a sense of worth; we want not just to create value, but lasting value. We dream of leaving a legacy for those behind us to appreciate and follow. There are very few among us who are content to come into this world and leave without leaving our foot-prints some place upon this earth. That explains why some folk seek notoriety. It satisfies the desire to not die in obscurity, it delivers from oblivion. Created (yes....I take that for granted) as relational beings, even the introverts among us experience the yearning to get beyond themselves sometimes. The question is, what are you doing about that calling that weighs so heavily upon your heart and mind?

If you are like me, you probably feel inadequate to the task. You're probably even now resigning yourself to thoughts that some-one else is more worthy of the yoke. You've just about rendered your need for significance still-born. May I remind you that "we all need to belong to something bigger than ourselves," something that gets us beyond fear and complacency; beyond selfishness and ego-centric tendencies; We all need to understand the value of helping some-one else realize his/her dreams, to bring health and hope and joy to those who need them more than we do. Now I'm not for one moment advocating that we put our personal ambitions and pursuits aside while we find a cause worthy of our association. On the contrary, I suggest....even declare, that all of us have the ability and the means to make space somewhere in the busy sphere of our existence, somewhere within our own dreams and aspirations, to include a cause that will benefit others, and yes.....live long after us.

So what will you do to start preparing for that cause that's bigger than your personal ambitions? In expending your talents, what will you do to ensure that the primary impact lasts way beyond your own existence? What is it that makes you fierce, angry or passionate? What cause is dear to your heart? Is it animal rights, women's rights, the need for tolerance and diversity in our ever-changing world? Are you a lover of children? Can you be the voice of the voiceless, the champion of the under-served? What little can you do to change the lives of those around you, one baby step at a time? It's time to fully embrace the realization that you need to belong to something that takes you outside of personal ambition. It's time to move beyond the good to the realms of the great! Take that first step.

Time and Chance Happen to All Men

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"Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that's the stuff life is made of." I have often pondered these sage words of the great statesman, author, scientist and all round man of action Benjamin Franklin. As an example of time well spent, Franklin's life stands as the essence of industry and voluntarism. His aversion to time-wasting tells in the eventual outcomes of his life. Time is one of those resources that all of us GET in equal daily quantities, MAKE in proportion to the priorities we set ourselves, and SPEND in ways we choose to.

But then there is another element of life that is offered to all men - not in equal quantities, admittedly, but assuredly in sufficient amounts for all of us to use to our advantage. Call it chance (as does the Bible - "time and chance happens to all...Ecc. 9:11) or call it opportunity, the fact is that to every single one of us is offered the gift of opportunities...opportunities to learn new skills, to improve our talents, to network, to make partnerships, to earn (additional) income, to adopt new philosophies, to change our attitudes...you name it...each new day comes to us attended by opportunities that, if we are attentive, we are bound to see. The truth is, not all opportunities are jaw-dropping; not all are our dreams come true. Most are almost imperceptible, unattractive and down-right unpleasant. As they say, opportunities mostly come in overalls....looking like work.

I'm not sure I know how to say this any differently than I am going to do just now: The fact is that who and what we become in life is altogether a result of what we do with these two most important factors in our lives - time and opportunity. Truthfully, we get equal amounts of time and unequal amounts of opportunity. But I have found that our results are not often tied to the extent of our lives (time) or the number of 'good things' that happen to us. Instead, it's as we learn to give time the respect, regard even reverence it deserves that we begin to realize change. It's as we learn to grasp and build on (not necessarily chase) the opportunities life casts at us, that we begin to rise with the tides, that we improve and grow and overcome and become all it is possible for us to be. Time and chance happen to all men....we've got to learn how to use and leverage them for our benefit.

So how are you using your time in relation to your goals and dreams? Jim Rohn, the guru of business philosophy is known to have often said, "We need to make reasonable progress in measurable time." In other words, time is best measured by the progress we make towards some predefined goals. Time ought not to be spent, or passed unawares...its too precious a commodity. Similarly, opportunities ought not to be allowed to pass us by without our being exercised thereby. We don't chase opportunities. We prepare ourselves to leverage and harness those that tend towards our good. And then we capitalize on them...using them for our continued improvement and the ultimate benefit of mankind. Time and chance happen to all men....they happen to you too...question is, are you allowing them to happen FOR you, or are they just passing you by? Ultimately, what you make of them is entirely up to you.

Learning and Becoming

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"We earn at the level of our learning." So it's been said. Who am I to argue? I'm still learning. And I am learning that LEARNING is the major currency in life.  I'm not talking, necessarily, about formal education here. That gives us a living, for sure....but self education is what makes us a fortune. So said the late great business philosopher, Jim Rohn.

Ever wondered why so many people want to earn big, to become famous, to get rich early on in the process? Unfortunately, sometimes they do, and the journey to the bottom usually comes as quickly as did the journey to the top. Too few understand the value of learning. Too few take the lessons of the past and invest them into the future. Too few are deliberate about pursuing a course of study, on their way to mastery.Indeed, too few seek wisdom and knowledge....and far too many get lost in the glamour of the end-game, oblivious of the learning journey that ought to lead there.

The truth is, in  this our achievement-oriented existence, most of us spend our time focusing on the goals we set ourselves. But it is often said that 'what we get by achieving our goals is far less important than what we become by achieving our goals" Indeed, the value is in the becoming...the learning, the change we experience in response to our changing circumstances. When we begin to savor that learning process is when we strike gold. 

Let me here underscore the importance of setting goals - short term goals as well as long term goals. These are what give us something to go after, something to work towards...and they are crucial. While we pursue that (seemingly elusive) balance in our lives, we must learn to set ourselves some  financial goals, and some career goals, some relationship goals, some health goals, some reading goals and yes...some spirituality goals. Go ahead. But keep in mind that the lessons that you will learn from the bumps along the way, the monumental fails, the missed shots are really where the money is. Keep your eye on the prize.....who you are becoming!

So learn to value learning and becoming. Intellectual learning is good and necessary for your success but the wisdom that comes from a life of learning from your experiences and those of others cannot be over-emphasized. And let's not be fooled into believing the straight line theory, or worse yet, don't believe that the learning will take the shape of a curve. It's gonna be squiggly and erratic, spasmodic and inconsistent. But go after the learnings anyway. Only, understand that who you are becoming will forever be more important than what you are achieving. Now, who are you becoming? 

What problem are You solving?

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One of the best ways to be effective in accomplishing our greatest desires in life is to ask ourselves the very potent question, "What problem am I solving?" It's a question that all new entrepreneurs are advised to answer before taking the plunge into launching a venture. But it is a also question that we need to ask ourselves as we approach each new project, large or small. It's a question we should ask of ourselves everyday if we hope to remain relevant and innovative. It is a critical question. It very frequently spells the difference between success and failure in a new venture. It's pretty much the same thing as it relates to the broader picture - life itself.

Am I making a mountain out of a mole-hill here? Is this much ado about nothing? Hardly! The fact is...the quality of the rewards life throws at us will depend largely on the the kinds of problems we solve for others.  And note well - it's the problems we solve for others (not ourselves) that make the difference. It is only as we extend ourselves beyond our own immediate problems, needs, insufficiencies and seek to provide solutions for the bigger issues that surround us that we begin to impact our world and find our own place in the stars.

So how about us changing our focus from "what problems am I facing?" to "what problems am I solving?" and "for whom am I solving them?" Greatness, by God's design and definition, is achieved only in relation to our willingness to serve others. Master motivator, Zig Ziglar is known to have said "You can have everything in life you want if you just help enough other people get what they want." Seems a paradox, but it's true. It is as we give time to finding solutions that other people value that we experience our greatest levels of effectiveness. Tried and proven! Entrepreneurs know that if a product or service doesn't solve a problem, fill a gap or soothe a pain then its chances of doing well in the market is next to none. In the same way, if our lives amount to little more than a self-serving, unintentional, unfocused existence we can expect to remain and/or become unfulfilled promises to mankind.

 So my challenge to all of us today is this.....find a problem to solve; one significant enough to interest enough people in order to sustain it's impact.....And I'm not asking that we  look outside of our strengths, talents and gifts. I'm asking that we  find and harness those talents. If you're a good cook, find a cause that needs your abilities. If you're an artist, know that there are people looking for your creativity. Understand the value of voluntarism to  your growth. You'll likely need to do that, at least initially, to establish a presence in the market place. Go out and solve some problems for the world around you. You'll be surprised at how many of yours get solved in the process.

You'll never change what you tolerate

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You'll never change what you tolerate. There's no getting around this simple truth. The things we tolerate become the standards by which we live, and set the tone for the way others interact with us. The reality is, if we tolerate being abused, we are going to be abused; if we tolerate team members being consistently late, they'll continue being late. If we tolerate being broke, believe me, we will spend the rest of our lives being financially dependent.

It means, therefore, that we've got to learn to lift the bar a little higher. There will be some things we can go easy on, but there's got to come a time when we draw the line; there has to be a place in our lives beyond which we tell ourselves, and those around us, we will not go. There are just some things about which we must take a zero tolerance approach if we are serious about creating a better life for ourselves and those we love.

We'll find that if we set boundaries around our time, our families, our associations, people will respect those boundaries. If we set standards for the way others communicate with us, respect, regard and honour will typify others' interactions with us. The fact is, by clearly defining the things we refuse to tolerate in our personal lives, we marshal the levers of control....we take our lives back...we increase our abilities to create change - exponentially!

The control freak I am (not such a good thing, I've learnt)...when I learnt of the magnitude of the leverage this gave me, I decided on some things I would no longer tolerate. Here are ten:

1. I will not tolerate being broke
2. I will not tolerate living outside of God's will for my life
3. I will not tolerate being overweight
4. I will not tolerate being disrespected (even as I try to respect everyone)
5. I will not tolerate a career that is unfulfilling
6. I will not tolerate living without making a difference in the lives of others
7. I will not tolerate the association of those who have no interest in personal growth
8. I will not tolerate the leadership of those who are stagnant
9. I will not tolerate a life not lived in pursuit of my dreams/my full potential
10. I will not tolerate living without generosity

Obviously, this list is personal.  There are some about which I am far more passionate than others, and those may get more attention.... and that's fine. It's my race, my pace. The bigger issue, now, is you. Where do you need to draw the line? Is this the place where you need to tell some folk to get off? What joy-stealing habits do you need to let go of? What must you NOW institute zero tolerance on? No matter how we spin it, change...significant change... can only happen when we make up our minds to take a zero tolerance approach in the areas of our lives where it matters most. Remember, you can never change what you tolerate!

Make Your story epic!

Google.com - Change the story you tell!

"People believe what you tell them about yourself,".... so they say, and whether you realize it or not, you tell your story everyday. The quality of your relationships, the tone of your conversations, the emotions your presence evokes, the confidence (or lack thereof) in your steps, your ability to command the respect of a team.....all tell your story. The good news is you have full control over what gets told.

Your personal brand is what we're talking about here. Now let's be clear on one thing: having great talent does not guarantee a great story or an excellent brand. Can you think of anyone you know who has great talent but who just hasn't been able to realize the success that their talents should elicit? Is that person you? I know..... I've been there. For years my personal brand has been affected by fear, a lack of confidence, anger, frustration, an inability (and sometimes unwillingness) to be sociable, and probably the worst one....constant feelings of inadequacy. Can you imagine all of this wrapped up in a single bundle? Like a powder keg waiting to explode, right? Well that was my brand - for many years. And you can well imagine, it did me no good.

But I've watched myself grow over the years. I realized that if I wanted my personal brand to have global impact I needed to tell a different story. So I became intentional about change.....My attitude, my willingness to engage with others, my too-frequently-negative mindset, my lack of confidence.... everything that didn't serve the purpose of improving the story my life told had to go....and that included some people. And over time, with the help of other growth-obsessed friends, intentional self awareness, and generous helpings of Divine intervention, I've watched my story change.

So how about you? How is your story? What do you need to change? Who do you need to let go of? What new habits do you need to create in order that your life may tell a more intriguing story? There are not many things we have control over in this life, but our response....our "happily ever after" remains a function of our intentional efforts at change, no matter our circumstances. There's never been a better time to take up the note-pad of your life, move an eraser across the pages you don't like, take your pencil in hand, turn the pages if you must, and re-write your story. The world awaits the epic best-seller it has the power to become!

Conditions will never be perfect

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"Whoever watches the wind will not plant, whoever looks at the clouds will not reap." That's the wisdom of Scripture (Ecc 11:4). Age old wisdom. Wisdom that is still relevant for today's struggle. To put it simply, conditions will never be perfect for getting your project off the ground. You may not have the required start-up capital; all the information needed to make a crucial decision may not be available, your team may lack some expertise; you may feel altogether inadequate for the task, but make your move anyway. Your success depends on it.

One of the biggest mistakes we make on the personal development path is to believe we have to be high on the measure of competence before we accept the mantle that major roles thrust upon us. On the contrary, it is through the challenges posed by these opportunities that we grow. It is as we stumble and bruise ourselves, fall and pick ourselves up that we grow in competence....and yes, confidence. It is as we tackle a problem broke - no money to throw at it - that we bring our ingenuity and creativity to the fore. It is as we take on our first client, with not enough experience, and less than enough know-how that we learn the peculiar needs of each of them, how we can fill those needs, and in the process stand out. But we have to start now....imperfect as conditions are.

When all is said and done, it comes down to your willingness to make incremental moves, and an understanding that it is often with the indiscernible, seemingly unimportant, steps that our most formidable and intimidating goals are achieved. Yeah, I know incremental is not appealing, but understand this: the cumulative effect of incremental moves is phenomenal. We're talking compound effect. But you must be willing to start where you are, with what you have now. Start with your so-called 'not enough', your inadequacies, your short-comings. Do it anyway.

Many times, while we wait for conditions to improve, opportunities depart. Procrastination is the thief of time, they say, and indecision the thief of opportunity. Make up your mind to face your inhibitions. Acknowledge your lack of resources, know-how or support. Acknowledge that conditions are less than perfect but believe that they are worth the risk - the risk of vulnerability, failure and loss even. The words of Martin Luther King come quickly to mind: "we don't have to see the whole staircase, we just need to take one step at a time." I've learnt that "less than perfect" is good ground for phenomenal success. You owe it to yourself to move towards it.

It's Just Harder for Introverts

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The push for personal achievement and success is difficult enough without having to add to it, the fact that you're an introvert. As a leader, I have often found myself in the position of having to fill roles I eschew, and take on tasks I have no desire to perform. From as far back as I can remember, I have always shunned the lime-light. (Don't ask me how one balances that with an intense, irrepressible desire to "be somebody." It may, somehow, explain the unending conflicts at play in my mind and heart). But inevitably I am, with increasing frequency, required to make that public appearance, fumble through interviews and expose myself to what sometimes feels like a skin-removal exercise. It's that bad! Vulnerability becomes an understatement.

The fact is, personal development requires deliberate moves toward self-improvement. It means planning your growth, but more importantly, it means taking action towards achieving those growth goals. Along the path, a few things become obvious:  Firstly, it cannot be done on your own. Growth is always in relation to someone else, some group or some community, whatever that looks like. And secondly, the only real limits we face are the ones we place on ourselves. Neither of the two is particularly good news for introverts.

If you are an introvert you likely prefer spending time to yourself, small talk is your least favourite past time and networking events are like a cage from which you want to cut loose. Brainstorming with the team is not necessarily your most favoured way of coming up with ideas because your best thinking occurs all by your lonesome. You find social situations super-awkward and while you enjoy learning, you certainly don't enjoy having your thoughts imposed upon. You prefer when people around you are self-starters, not needing coaching or personal interventions. The trouble is, growth - yours and that of those you may lead -  requires all that and more.

For extroverts and 'ambiverts' it may ('MAY being the operative word here) be as simple as doing something one has never done before. The task may be intimidating but it may simply be a new invigorating experience. Networking events are an opportunity to meet new people, make new contacts, open new doors. Leaving ones comfort zone often represents new, exciting (yes, maybe initially, uncomfortable) frontiers. But for the introvert it's often an excruciating experience. It cuts across the grain. It's not natural. It's just not who we are . I know. I speak from experience. And though, admittedly, the tasks get easier, it never becomes a place of comfort. But, whether fortunately or unfortunately, these are experiences we have to make up our minds to endure. Our growth requires it......and introverts, no less than extroverts, have the same aching desires to achieve.

  So, if lately you've been feeling that it's too much, if you're feeling absolutely raw and exposed (as I feel even now) do your best to look beyond the moment. Run often to your place of introvert power (whatever that is), eat, drink, refresh yourself and emerge boldly to meet the challenges, remembering that at the end of it all the rewards will be well worth the effort.

Personal Value - It's in Your Hands!

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We get paid not for the number of hours we put in but for the value we bring to the table. It's that simple. Hundreds of people put in a forty-hour work week. Yet we don't all get paid the same thing. We get paid according to the perception of value that is placed on the tasks we perform, The good thing is that we all have control over the value that others place upon us.

Now let's be clear. A man's (or woman's) value in the market place is a world apart from the value we may place upon him as an individual. A man may be a valuable father, husband, brother, and similarly, a woman may be perceived invaluable as a mother, a wife, sister or daughter. Yet that same man or woman may be perceived as of little value in an organization. His/her skills may prove insufficiently specialized, his talents easily acquired, his ideas (if he has any) nondescript and uninspiring.

The good thing in all this is that we each have the power any day and everyday to increase our value. That's entirely up to us. Creating personal value is something that every human being should be intentional and strategic about. Our value to the market will never change until we change. We will never secure personal competitive advantage until we become intentional about working on ourselves. Formal education is one route, That's good. But formal education merely makes us a living, self-education is what makes us a fortune, We must secure every opportunity that comes our way to self educate - to increase our talents, to stimulate curiosity, to continually work at maintaining interest in the world as life evolves round about us.

We owe it to ourselves to create and increase personal value and continually offer that to the market place. We must become more: BECOME. DO. HAVE. That;s the formula for increasing value. As we learn, we implement - we DO - for the benefit of others. As we DO,  our talents and abilities improve, our reputations precede us; inevitably we attract the success we seek; we command the salaries and benefits we crave - all the time focused only on increasing our value to the market place. These days learning is as easy as the next you-tube video. There is just no excuse for remaining where we are in life. The value we being to the market place is entirely ours to control. What value do you bring to the table?

Scratch Your Own Itch

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"Far from the madding crowd" is an expression I like to use. I find these days that withdrawing to this 'safe space' has become a personal imperative. Overwhelm has become far too familiar, whether that be my work day, my mommy-time or my down-time....there just always seems to be too much happening in my space. And if that is not enough, bumper-to-bumper traffic is the order of the day, any time of day. Trouble is, bumper to bumper traffic is threatening to become the order of my thinking. But I'm not about to let that happen. 

If the feeling is not familiar in your personal life, I'm pretty sure it has become a normal experience in your work-a-day world...even if you work from home. In fact, working from home has begun to feel, for some, like shark-infested waters. Every other teenager with a lap-top in a basement somewhere is likely competing in your space. What else can we write that has not already been articulated? Thousands, even millions of people are doing the very same things we spend our days dreaming about and planning for. Ideas are a dime a dozen, and no matter how novel we think ours are, we find that some other nifty mind has 'been there, done that." Makes you wonder if it's all worth it.

I have found that its worth it to find my own, blue ocean (as business strategists love to say); to create uncontested market space; to make the 'competition' irrelevant; to create and capture new value.  The truth is, if what you do is important enough to you this "crowding out effect" (to borrow a term from the economists) would not represent a stumbling block. In fact, it should force you to take a step back and do some evaluation.In a world where problem solving is cast as the die that gets us into the market place, we must learn to scratch our own itch.

Sounds counter-intuitive maybe. But here's why it works: At the most superficial level it causes us to give attention to personal problems we are able to solve. At a deeper level, it calls us to answer the all important question of 'why'. Understanding our why makes MEANING the currency of our operations. Meaning and purpose are what pull us back into the fray when we feel overwhelmed, crowded out, replicated, unnecessary. Scratching that itch of ours, doing what means the most to us, will get us going and keep us in the ring when others have long stopped stoking their fires. We have to learn to make the competition irrelevant, the crowd less madding, the noise less distracting. We must focus on our game, find our own blue ocean, scratch our own itch.....and that begins and ends with 'WHY.'

Staying Grounded to What's Real

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I am always amazed at how easily my fingers glide over the computer keyboard, or my pen over  paper, as I empty my thoughts into my diary or some private space where my soul is not laid bare to the ravages of vulnerability. Absolutely no difficulty in putting my thoughts down. I've come to realize how different things become the moment I begin to write with an audience in mind. I search for the right words, or combinations thereof. I try to find the right rhythm. I want my audience to be impressed; I become preoccupied with the impact I want to leave on the reader's mind. But I find that it makes the task of  writing burdensome and unpleasant. I feel like I am pandering to the needs of others.

On the other hand, when I open my private  journal to pour my heart out into its pages, my fingers glide. Obviously, I have no concern for whether my words flow, how they will be perceived, or how widely they will be read, It's real. I'm real. My most authentic self comes flowing effortlessly unto the pages. The person I aspire to be stares back at me through the pages of words I unfurl. And I fall in love with the person I see; the person  I don't see enough. The person I am. I wish all of life was like that. Authentic; totally un-fabricated; imperfect...yet perfect in this moment; with no artificially imposed standards or expectations. I find I want to be in this place more often. No pressure; just simply reveling in the intellectual freedom that abounds there.

So how do I capture and preserve these moments? How do I write material in hopes that others will benefit, yet divorce myself from the confines of their opinions? How do I scratch my own itch in the face of all the the other itches and irritations of other people that daily impose themselves upon my existence? I remind myself that while I want my writing to benefit others, ultimately writing is simply one of the vehicles through which MY purpose is revealed and expressed. I refuse to be derailed by the agendas and opinions of others. I remind myself of the thousands of others before me who have been robbed of their dreams by people who have never attempted anything significant in their lives. Yep, I remind myself that ultimately, my most important audience right now is one - that's me....and I am always rooting for me.

I am grateful that my desire to share and improve my talents and know-how have always been stronger than my desire for an audience; or else I might have stopped long ago. You see I have not taken the time to learn how to 'drive an audience' to my blog, convert leads, or how to earn from it. Rather, I have needed to know that I would do it whether I failed or I succeeded. I have needed to carry on for the sake of doing what mattered to me.....and  I feel today that I have done that...with no audience. And it feels good. I guess an audience is good (at least sometimes) and ratings are great, I suppose....but the truth is, that's all vicissitudinous. I've got to stay grounded. For me, it's too dangerous to hand my future, so early on, to the platitudes of the unenthusiastic. I've got to keep staring me in the face and reminding myself of why I do what I do. I remind myself I am enough. And I carry on.

Saying Yes to the Right Opportunites

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Here's an important caveat to my last post re opportunities: In order to attract the right opportunities we must learn to say no to those requests that advance a selfish agenda and YES to those that completely align to our purpose of making a difference in the lives of others. Interestingly, our purpose on earth always involves creating change in the lives of others. Obviously what that looks like will vary, but it always comes back to something outside of ourselves....but I digressed, so let me take the conversation back to it's original intent - saying yes to the right opportunities.

The truth is that many opportunities will come our way as we become intentional about our personal development. Obviously they will catch us at various times and seasons of our lives. In the summer or spring time of our lives, we may be better able to choose only those opportunities that help us along our path to a meaningful existence. However, when winter sets in, when funds are low and debts are high, our ability to reject some offers may not be as strong. Our circumstances may require that we diverge a little from the path. As they say, "sometimes we have to do what we have to do until we can do what we want to do." It's all good. It's a part of the learning. All lessons are welcome.

What's important is that we are able to identify and differentiate between them. Not every income earning opportunity advances our long-term goals; not every project that comes to the table gets us farther up on the ladder to the top; not every ball that is pitched at us, improves our ability to swing. We must learn to identify the opportunities that benefit our cause, long before they come knocking. The truth is, opportunities to fulfill our purpose (that's what we're talking bout, right?) never come clothed in ego-boosting proposals. They usually provide a gateway to assisting others..and oh, yeah...they often provide a chance for earning too.

So the next time you're faced with a difficult decision as to whether to take up an offer, consider whether the opportunity advances your long term desire for meaning and purpose. If the circumstances (financial, social or otherwise) do not dictate that you must pursue these opportunities, say no. Leave space for the things that bring meaning and satisfaction.....those things that fuel your passions and take you outside of yourself. Go for those that will help you leave a legacy that's bigger than you are.

Opportunities Will Come

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This may be contrary to popular opinion as it relates to success. And that's okay. I have found over the years, as I have tried to organize my life around the major principles and tenets of success, that though many of these principles are common, quite a number of successful persons have at times veered from the popularly-held success fundamentals and have created other rules that have worked for them. I may be at the same place as it relates to the pursuit of opportunities.

It was Benjamin Disraeli who said "the secret of success in life is for a man to be ready for his opportunity when it comes." There are those who trumpet the importance of pursuing and seizing opportunities...and I guess it is important - depending probably on your personal success definition. I am one of those who believe, however, that opportunities will always come to the one who is sufficiently prepared to claim them. When the axe has been properly sharpened, felling trees is no longer a matter of strength, but of expedition and craftsmanship.

So the greater focus, I have come to believe, should  be placed on being and becoming the person it will take to master the opportunities that will come along. Marketing efforts come to naught if the product is flawed. Subsequent opportunities are lost if the current one is poorly executed. Sometimes it's not so much about the quantity of opportunities that come by, but the quality of those we implement. A satisfied customer does more to guarantee another sale/opportunity than any amount of fancy marketing campaign ever will.

So what are you doing to sharpen your axe? What is your strategy for becoming the best marketer/author/teacher/entrepreneur you can be? How is your personal growth plan progressing? How many lives have you impacted with your product/your philosophies in the last year? Let's be clear on this....no matter how good your product/service is, it is the personal philosophies and attitudes behind it that will make it sustainable or not. Your business/ideas/projects will grow only to the level of your own personal growth. So stop worrying about opportunities, you will attract them as you evolve....and that evolution is a lifetime work.